Me & You, Forever ♥

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Winning

Ignoring the previous post, it was actually quite a nice day yesterday.

Because i won Gary in Dickhead. 3 - 2.

My eyes fucking hurt and RJ is not opened. It's not my fault. Going off to do something else.

Bye world.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Msn and parents

Life sucks. Like totally. It don't rain, it POURS.

I hate it when MSN dies on me. I still could use it before i get out of the house and when i come home, it's dead.

I got this feeling that it's blocked by my firewall but i fucking checked. It wasn't.

And the worse thing is...

I can't even get into the download page for Live Messenger, hotmail or anything that has got to do with MSN.

This annoys me but what worries me most is what is going to happen to dad.

Daddy and Mommy actually threatened each other with divorce before. And it kind of stop when Daddy promises to change. It feels like deja vu but i got this feeling, things might be worse this time.

FUCK IT. I'M SO FREAKING SCARED THAT I FEEL I CAN CRY ANY MINUTE.

But i'm not going to. I have to pretend to be strong and unaffected. I have to. Please Jesus, Allah, Buddha, give me strength to do so.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Transformer

I spent 2.75 hours watching metal raping each other.
Whoohoooo.

Though honestly, it's not such a bad movie. Really!!
(:

Saturday, June 27, 2009

H1N1

Our school rocks!! We're growing and i think we're growing at one of the fastest pace in comparison to other schools.

There was only 2 on Monday, not sure cause i wasn't in school on Tuesday, 7 on Wednesday, 9 on Thursday and 18 on Friday. Are we cool or are we cool.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

i'm twittering. updates over there :)

I'm busy twittering more than i blog now and there's a reason...

... and this is my reason

A little hint as to what i'm editing lately. But definitely not my final skin. I just like the idea but it's just so not me.

Am just going to finish working with this then work on a new better one.

P/s: I already created a new blog URL. Wait for it people, wait for it. angelturndemon is just too... pretentious. I need to grow up :)

But on second thoughts, don't wait for it. I'm taking all the embedded ads thingy out and am just going to focus on a real bitchy blog. (aka, it'll be a real personal blog. I might even lock it up... seeing that's what Gary did and made me beg for it for days before i was allowed access *whines*)

So long, people. I will miss this site.

(Don't worry, i'll still update this blog for the next few weeks. Life's too busy for me to finish the skins i like and the one that's suitable for the blog and still, have a life of my own.)

In the meantime, F5, THINK OF A OUTING!!!

Mummy Ben was so random today.

All of us was in a MSN conference today and Mummy Ben was asking around to see when are all of us free to hang out together. And Jeff said he's not free for this entire week and i said i am kinda busy for this weekend too.

Then mummy said that he was too!!

ROFLMAOSTC!!!

We were just all asking each other for fun. We are all busy but yet still asked if we can meet up.

Siao seh!!

Okay, i'm not going to edit anymore tonight. Back to twittering!!!!

rant

Man, i've no idea what i should exactly rant about.

Should i rant about...

the annoying seniors,
the fucking UHU glue who ruined my 2 days old manicure,
my CMI presentation skills lately,
Nate as my new gan jie,
April's new cookie phone or
about the fact that i'm working on my new blogsite lately.

Anyways, back to do RJ.
:(

永遠，永遠… …

這個笑容背後到底隱藏了多少故事

多少的眼淚

這個強顏這個歡笑

眼淚還是衝破了前提

我的心臟依然疼

我們都是屬於草莓族的一代

不過我要儅顆摔不爛的草莓

面對著風

我會努力撐著眼簾

不讓這一切流走

我會一直微笑著

永遠，永遠… …

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

can't stand it

OMG. I can't stand my entries without pictures.

So here's two random ones taken recently:

I hate smiling for photos. I don't know why.
And i absolutely have no idea how to take photos using his phone :(

And OMG. Can i call him my ham-ham from now on?
He looks totally like one here.
Uber cuteness.

And look at the difference in our skin color.
He has this Asian look and i have this unhealthy sickly look.
DAMMIT!!

my black nails had spoken

Gary: I don't know. What if a lizard runs into your room somehow or other?
Me: Ahh. I've already bathed with one, what's more about sleeping with one.

-awkward silence of 2 seconds-

Gary: What else have you been hiding from me that i should know?
Me: ... ... Ehh, heh heh?

I love random conversations like this. It's funny!!!

Anyways, moving on. I swear Shaun got me thinking about one thing.

-dramatic silence-

OH. What were you thinking? I was merely wishing for an older twin brother.

Just that, i wouldn't want one modeled after him. I don't want an ah-beng-lookalike as an older twin brother.

Not that i judge on looks, really no.

But i just really hope to have an older twin brother at times who would look out for me wherever i am, be over protective of me. You know, like someone being there for me, for me to whine or shout at and still loves me and cares a lot and treats me really well despite how badly i treat him at times.

Honestly, such brothers doesn't exist. But i want one.

I KNOW!!! That would be what i am going to wish for for Xmas this year.
:D

And please don't ask what Shaun did today to actually trigger this thought in me. Not that you can't ask me, but i can't seem to phrase it out. I understand his intentions and would totally kill for a older brother like him.

Just that... he seriously looks too beng.

OMG. Side note!! I have an entire box of the damn freaking old school Potong Red Bean ice cream sticks and one huge tub of Cookies & Creme.

Am so going to gorge myself on those tomorrow. They are going to be my breakfast, lunch and dinner.
:D

Speaking of food, i think i'm giving this impression to Jamal that i actually don't eat. He had been commenting to me for the past few days that he had never seen me eat any proper food. Snacking yes, food no.

He wonders how i survive and i wonder too.
:)

Anyways, i forgot what i wanted to blog and am lazy to upload the pictures taken with Gary yesterday.

Ah wells. Better go off then.

And oh yes, for the next few days, if i'm going to lose in any arguments, i'm just going to say

"MY black nails have spoken"

Monday, June 22, 2009

and you suck

Had a long soothing shower and sitting in front of my lappie, sipping cold water. What else can i ask for?

-blissful sigh-

Pity this is going to end in a few hours time after i wake up.

But at least, no fucking annoying UT this Tuesday. I can finally go to bed on Monday night without any worries and sleep in on Tuesday mornings.

Awesome life.

Anyways, met Su on 39 while on the way towards Pasir Ris today. She is one lady i totally respect.

She had some problems with her husband and she was telling me casually about it. I was sympathetic and did all i could but it was still apparent i have no idea how to handle situations as such. And she changed the topic as soon as she sensed that i wasn't comfortable with how the conversation was heading.

I said this because there is just this girl who doesn't know when to stop.

I swear we were all so annoyed by her that a few of us had already exploded at her/about to explode at her.

And of course, Su and i were gossiping about her on the bus too.

We started off by complaining how far we both have to travel to meet our boyf/husband. She stays in Pasir Ris and her husband stays in Yishun whereas Gary in Pasir Ris and me, Yishun.

Then we moved on to her little problem which i'm not going to talk about where she suddenly asked me a question.

"What exactly are you?"

:)

I love this question the first time i heard it. Until she explained as, "What style are you?"

To be honest, i've no idea. I was once nerd, casual, punk, goth, jappy girl and back to casual now. And i actually see bits and pieces of all these elements still in my dressing now.

I think i need to create a word that has all of those inside.

Someday soon, i promise, someday soon.

But for now, let's call my style, a walking-fashion-disaster style.

And yes, i can't be bothered to speak about the rest of the stuff because my entire mind is telling me to write about the stuff we gossiped about.

I mean, she was telling me how she thought i was okay with this girl and i agreed i initially was, until i couldn't take her attitude while i was in her team or not in her team.

She doesn't think of anyone else ideas as ideas,
She takes everything too personally,
She thinks too highly of her capabilities,
She doesn't know when to stop
She ... ...

Just her voice is more than enough to irritate us out.

To the fact that we feel like dying just knowing that we're in her team. And to the extent that someone left class just because she was in her team.

(Note: I'm going to call a few things here ***. I just don't want her to know i'm talking about her though it's so fucking obvious.)

And Su was telling me that HY and Shaun all don't believe she never had *** before. And Su was ultimately irritated by her reaction when asked,

"I'm a ***, of course never *** before lah."

But i was telling Su that if i'm a guy, i wouldn't want to *** her at all. She completely turns me off.

We were so mean that Su wanted to get her a "365 positions in bed" when she saw one in Melbourne that day.

(Yes, the *** is getting obvious now, isn't it?)

Su was even saying that her boyf left her because she had no more new moves.

(Please don't ask what kind of classmates i have, please~~)

But then, i told her as a matter of fact-ly that i wouldn't say that the guy was her boyf. Because of one simple reason, the guy never asked her out. And Su was like saying,

"OMG. Sex partners only?"

Meanie, aren't she?

But she does make life so much funnier for us.

And honestly, i don't mind having people talking about sex in class. I mean, it's fun and we get to laugh about. (Including of Joel using a condom with a guy. No, don't ask. :P) But, we generally know when to stop.

Especially when all of us decide to stop on this topic and move on to another one, please don't drag us back in there. You know, we have other things in life to talk and laugh about other than sex.

Fucking annoying bitch.

Anyways, i have this sudden urge to eat a BigMac now. Am so going to da bao that home tomorrow. But i know, i'm not going to do so tomorrow because i'm lazy to walk to MCD and da bao.

And yay!! Gary said i looked thinner. Though i'm still at a monstrous weight of 45. Reeves is like wayy taller than me and he is like 49/50kg.

Thank god i'm at least 4 or 5 kg lighter than him but still, this is preposterous.

And yikes!! I'm having the craving of LJS's chicken whatever meal. It had been on my mind ever since i reached home. Damn damn damn.

Okay. BigMac for dinner tomorrow and that chicken thingy on Wednesday. Maybe Subway on Thursday and KFC for Friday?

Sounds cool. Though i got this feeling i'll just skip it because i'm too lazy.

Anyways, i'm just ranting now. Maybe i should go off.

OH NO WAIT!!

I can't believe i almost forgot to say this.

GARY GOT ME AN AWESOME HUGE LOLLIPOP!!!
AND A CUTE (purple) FAN!!!

Isn't life good?

I swear i'm not going to touch that lolli until Friday, after i finished all my work. It's a treat that i am only giving myself when i'm done with this monstrous week.

Ah wells. At least i have something to look forward and motivate me to last through another week.

6 more minutes for me to random websurf a little more before i got to sleep.

But just in case i knock out right after i publish this,

NIGHT WORLD.

and you suck!!!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Panadolically alive

After a long fucking horrible week in school...

... i woke up at 1

mom: zeh said that she might want dinner with us later
i: -zzzz-
mom: i haven't confirm with her
i: okay. -zzzz-

... and i feel asleep again

... and woke up at 2

mom: i called zeh and tell her we can go and have dinner together
i: -zzzz-

... and fell asleep again

... and woke up properly at 3

mom: so dinner together, right?
i: huh?
mom: okay.
i: no, see first.
mom: you got go out?
i: nope
mom: tsk.

WHAT?

What is with all these? You mean i can only have time to go out to school, weekends with Gary or friends or if i'm at home, then i've to go out with you guys?

MOM, I NEED TIME FOR MYSELF TOO.

Or time to actually laze around and try and recharge myself. I only have 2 days to recharge myself.

Remember the time when i said:

End of Monday: Groaning thinking about school the next day but with enough sleep.
End of Tuesday: Tired but am still able to continue.
End of Wednesday: Completely exhausted but still should be able function with more sleep.
End of Thursday: Almost dead, but should be able to continue working with at least ten hours of sleep.
End of Friday: Dead. No elaborations needed.

I changed my mind.

End of Monday: Dead
End of Tuesday: Panadolically alive
End of Wednesday: Panadolically alive
End of Thursday: Panadolically alive
End of Friday: Panadolically alive

Even with this extent, i'm still not allowed to have a little of my-time? I just want to rest, is it too much to ask for?

Friday, June 19, 2009

As the world comes crumbling down...

Disclaimer: Finish reading before asking me anything, alright? *smiles*

Gary left me.
For what reason;
Why her,
I don't know.

I'm sorry for not being able to be the girl in your heart.
That i can't be like how you want me to be.
I can't reach your expectations,
And i guess i can only let it slide.

They look so happy together.
He looks so blissful.
The amount of feelings stayed bottled that way.

My heart still yearns,
Still love.
But i know that's the end.
I want to wake up from this,
But i just can't.

Like a dream you can't wake up from.
A life you can't escape from.
A play you can't leave till the curtains are drawn.
A movie you can't go until the credits are flashed.
A fate you have no choice but to withstand...

Sounds believable, doesn't it? It was as if it was totally true.

The wall i spent building up just to defend myself with,
When has it crumbled like this?
If it's just a mere dream and it could affect me like this,
I really don't want to think how it would have been if it was to happen to me in real life.

... As the whole world comes crashing down, i cried.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

kuku :D

OMG. I had another tab open under blogger and was updating about today while i was doing my RJ and closed the other tab and opened a new one.

I mean, OMG, totally.

My second part of the RJ question for today also wanted us to find two NON COMPUTER ANIMATED TV commercials and describe why you like them (as quoted).

After finding the first one, i cried. Like really. Tears flowed down my cheeks.

If you didn't, you're one heartless bastard.

You didn't know how much i was thanking my dad for the past few days where he had been driving me to school while i act totally like a bitch.

I was feeling unwell, you jerk.
Don't judge me!!

I even made a promise to myself that i will treat him like a king when i grow up.

And just in the night, i saw this commercial. Tell me, will i cry anot lah.

Then since i need two, i was contemplating if i should put this as my second choice.

And my reason would be simple. I like hot half naked man.
Moreover, he's called TAKUYA!!

Yes, Sam's 'best friend' in school is called Takuya.
(Psst. Remember Takuya Katsu i've been mentioning? Yes, that's him. :P)

But ahem. Anyways, i don't think he'll appreciate it very much in seeing half naked man...

... or will he?
:P

And OMG. I must been giving Gary this impression that i'm really mad at him.

He refused to tell me what he got for me and i tried all ways. I pretended and he almost fell for it. I continued pretending and he got cleverer. Then i really ignored him after the last text.

I wasn't mad at him but i

got distracted by the family commercial then a half naked hot guy
really hope this would make him tell me

Man. I'm so sure that he'll be slapping me in my nose after he sees this when he's back in SG.

Yes, in the nose. I think this would hurt a lot more and have a better chance in breaking something.

Better than slapping anywhere else, doesn't it?

And OMG. More of hot hot hot kuku!!!

So SO cute!!! His messy hair. His eyes. His lips. OMG!!!

OMG. His fingers after the trick. And how he stick out his tongue.

It definitely is getting hot in here, isn't it?
:P

And OMG. My RJ. I haven't found my second ad yet!! Gosh. And i blame hot Kuku Kimura for this.
:D

it's alright. it's okay :)

OMG. It was a paranoid much post yesterday. I'm very much alive and am contented to stay that way.

So yes, i'm alright, okay?
:)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

All explectives will be coming out again soon :)

I was looking at the weird metal piece that dropped out from my dead Dell’s tower and have a sudden urge to stab my thigh with it. But I guess it’ll hurt and i might see blood, so I simply dropped the idea.

And man, I googled and found out that skin which hurts when touched and having this fire sensation on skin are actually symptoms of anxiety attacks. Man, I just hope it goes away soon. I am simply feeling so so so fucked up now.

I was sweating like mad in my thick jacket but yet still shivering today. It had come to the point where i was saying that i'm going to have really strong stomach muscles at the end of the day.

Shivering for three hours. I'm so going to get a muscled tummy.

Plus numb fingers. I had them in class and i was so afraid that i got a mini-stroke without knowing and kept on trying to pretend in stretching them while lifting my hands way up high.

I know, paranoid much, right?

Darn. It's only the third day of class and i'm already so messed up. How am i going to survive the rest of the nine weeks for just this sem only.

It's no wonder seniors always told us that

You can party in year One;
Can't afford to get sick in Two
And die in Three.

I understand now.

I was so dead that i didn't even bothered to wear contacts to class yesterday. I would have normally insist on a decent look before heading out, but i've been ignoring them ever since three days ago.

And i really really want to sleep now. But i'm still waiting for Gary's call. If i'm going to die in my sleep tonight, then at least i want to listen to his voice first.

But then again, maybe i'll just wait until 1030. I'm not game enough to wait till he calls.

And i was thinking too. If i could actually mediate at home, maybe i can achieve enlightenment and go into some monastery where i don't have to go through this shit anymore.

I already am not eating much, let me insist, it's not that i don't want to, but it's just that i really have no appetite. I swear Myojo cup noodles taste like cheap and fake flour and milk. Mad disgusting. Couldn't even force myself to eat half of it.

More than 24 hours with only half of a cup noodle and diahorrea and 60 hours of mad chills, burns, painful skin, shivering tummy, headache (panadol rocks) and dead souls.

Fucked up ehs, am i not?

Let's hope the symptoms of the supposedly anxiety attacks go away soon. If not, i'm not sure how long would i last. Till this weekend?

But i'm happy with the instillation we did today. And we're going to do recording tomorrow!!! Uber cool. Let's hope i don't get her in my team again tomorrow (was in her team for the last prob and a guy's grades was destroyed by her). And honestly speaking, i can only be this much fucked up before i really die.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It's sweet. and i'm smiling :)

Am so fucking tired but i still can't sleep. I still have two more time periods to research on before the UT tomorrow.

And now, internet is failing me and i can't do any proper research without having to wait for 10 freaking minutes before the page finishes loading.

Even blogger is not loading properly.

ARGHS. Am so fucking pissed right now. I'm just trying to study. Dumb internet, help me out a little, would you?

Was so tired that i fell asleep on the bus without me having a full realization. And at that split second when i woke up, i really hope Gary was there. I never realized how warm his shoulders are.

Anyways, i'm really not supposed to be blogging right now since it's almost 2 and i should sleep real soon, but i'll burst if i don't say it out now. I had been telling myself to control and that i can blog about it sometime else, or at least after i get everything i needed.

But... i really can't.

I was so dead exhausted that i almost can't lift my fingers to type my RJ then. But his call came and surprisingly, even though it was just a short minute but it recharges me so completely. I was even chiding myself for being anxious and worried that he wouldn't call me before he leaves.

Just the promise of trying to call me everyday was enough. He doesn't have to, just having the thought of it was enough to warm me from the inside out.

"I don't care about the bills. I just want to talk to you."

This is more than enough to make me melt so completely.

And the text just before he left left me smiling too.

Thankfully, he'll be back on Friday. Four more days. Just four more.

But these four days would be so long without him
:(

Ahh wells. It's really 2 now. I should go study albeit more before i crash and continue tomorrow morning.

Damn. I want at least 6 hours of sleep per day. Is that too much to ask for?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Mad dead tired

And i realized,

Whenever i'm down and dreary,
exhausted and weary...

And i realized at that point of time...
... all i want is him.

Dream

I love having eight hours of sleep. They give me nice dreams.

And now, let's proceed to months of nightmare before i get another holiday.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

long wordy boring entry

Especially at nights like this, when i'm all alone in the dark, quiet house, alone in the shower. Especially at times like this, fear comes stronger than before.

Not because that i was afraid of the unknown in the dark but rather due to the fact in which i know that i'm alone, that i let my guard down, that i allow my thoughts to wander, that i let myself succumb to distress, insecurities and uncertainties.

And at times like this, i realized that i'm still a human. I'm still weak and defenseless.
That i'm just a human.

Ah wells. Maybe i should just keep the little vulnerable thoughts to myself and rant about other things instead.

First up,

MY INTERNAL BODY CLOCK IS RUINED!!!

I had been sleeping really really late (or early, technically speaking) for the past two weeks and i haven't tried to adjust it back for class which is starting in A DAY.

(And having Gary to laugh at me in my face that he is just starting his holidays is not helping... at ALL.)

Oh man. I can already foresee myself trudging to school on Monday without any sleep. For i normally sleep at the time when i'm supposed to wake up for school. Not that i never functioned properly (and not that badly actually) without any sleep in school but that was during Year 1, where classes are supposedly easier. I have serious doubt that i would be able to fare marginally well if i go to class without any sleep from this semester onwards.

And not only is school starting in a day, History UT is coming in TWO. And i haven't downloaded all my 6Ps (not that i have all of them in the first place), much less revise. And i have to memorize three time periods in just one day?

Not that it's impossible, but it's not as simple as it is. For the art time period and the music time period of the same name might be from different years. Oh good lord, DAMMIT!!

Ah wells. Moving on to happier stuff.

I CLAIMED GARY'S PSP AS MINE!!!
(for now)

Until he asks it back, it shall just keep quiet and pretend that it's mine.
*big smile*

Now i'm hoping that he gets 2 DS, 2 laptops, 2 TVs, 2 ipods, 2 of EVERYTHING!!!

Okay, maybe that's a little too farfetched. But can you imagine it? Gary lending me his PSP... and i get to keep it!!! (realize how i refuse to put 'for now' at the end of the last sentence? My own little private fantasy world rocks!!!)

And double dammit, i just realized i have another Anaylsis & Critic UT on Friday. I'm doomed. So doomed.

I need 6Ps. NOW!!!

But honestly, life sometimes really suck. Yes, holidays thing are one (apparently i'm jealous of Gary able to sleep in for the next two weeks despite the fact that i were in my holidays for the past fourteen days) and UTs are definitely close behind.

But none as sucky as having to go to class for 45 minutes just for the UT. I have no idea why can't my rest day be on Wednesday *glances mournfully at April*. And after National Day, my rest day would be on Thursday instead of Tuesday. Isn't that random?

And after Tuesday UT, i'm supposed to go have dinner with parents, zeh, cousins, grandmomo and god-knows-who-else. The best thing is, i don't even know where and when. And if Mom actually expects me to organize this, she can be prepared to face some irresponsible shit from me.

Anyways, i'm supposed to talk about happier stuff, right? So yes, back to Gary's PSP.
*rubs hand gleefully together*

I had been playing Crisis Core since last night and somehow Zack and Genesis doesn't look half that bad.

Yes yes, i play games based on how hot/cute/visually appealing the charactors are, do you have any serious problems with that?

*smiles sweetly - Jane's style*

Most people wouldn't find me a fan of any games (think of me ditching Cabal, Light VS Dark -blah blah blah- within two days) and many would be taken aback (pleasantly or not is not up to me to judge) that i actually stayed with Crisis for more than 24 hours.

I normally would play, sleep, wake up and don't feel like playing it anymore.

But i still want my echochrome. Or another game that's similar to it that could be played on lappie. So i can actually play it during class/3rd meeting without letting the faci find out that i'm actually only nodding and pretending to listen while i was actually playing a random game.

And yes, even Maple. I stopped going into the game ever since Gary killed me in it, so as to speak. But no, i wasn't killed by a snail. I'm still not that bad yet.

It was just because he called me while i was hitting some cutesy mobs that's at a higher level than me (i'm a mage, i can hit mobs that are higher than me and survive, as long as i'm a mile away) and i picked up his call and i just say 'hi' and i died.

Yes, that's it.

The end of my cutsey character, Lynniii3.

Oh yes, i mentioned that Kuku gave me an A a few entries ago but i haven't talk about the comment he gave me.

He said

" that's a rather good explanation of a simple choice. You have a rather mature view of things, which is a great asset for your art."

- as quoted.

YAY!! But anyways, i was quite interested in our RJ question of that day too.

Reflection Journal Question:
You are given your own name card with just the word "ME" written on it. As part of an exhibition titled "Who Am I", describe where you would place this card on a large, white, empty gallery wall. Explain your reason for placing it there.

So yes, what would your choice be? Please tell me why. I'm just interested.

*batter eyelids and smile*

AND OMG. People aren't sleeping at 420 in the morning. MSN popups!!

Owh. Sleepover at Nick's house. Why do i want to go to his house when my house is like so much nearer to the school. But honestly, i wonder who would go and would it be fun over there.

And man. Nate is such a bastard.

nk freedom says (4:22 AM):
u invite lo

NATE(@)| get high and kiss the sky says (4:23 AM):
serious ah
then u wld see the world record for the fastest time ppl exit frm a msn convo

Anyways, sorry for such a wordy post. I better go off and Crisis a bit more.

TATAS!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Guardian angels

Not reminiscing the past, neither am i thinking about the future, thoughts that filled up my mind right now was right now.

Life isn't long for me to stay in the past, neither is it prophetic enough for me to see into the future. What matters to me most for now is to cherish whatever i have now.

Cherish the time i still have, the people still around me and everything else that are still unmentioned.

If there was a past life, i'm sure that i've done something really good to deserve the awesome people in my life now.

I don't know if there is any (another) higher being (than myself), but if there is, i really really have to thank him (or her)...

... For awesome parents

Who's always with me.
(Plus this photo is taken by Daddy. He knows how to camwhore too hor. Mai Siao Siao :D I know i look horrible in here but apparently i only have two photos that shows Daddy camwhores just like we do.)

... For my fabulous zeh zeh who still thinks about me despite we don't see each other much.

... For my uberly sweet and thoughtful guy whom i can't stop myself from being so madly head over heels in love for.

And how can i ever forget my Ching Ching's Bat, Chong and Pril Pril.
... For she was the one who stood by me and welcome me back even though we had our own arguments here and there.
... For she's the one who believed and defended me when she really don't have to...

... Maybe angels really do exist afterall. My guardian angels.

Ching ching's bat

Mad bored and therefore going to sleep soon in this monstrous warm weather. I can literally feel heat radiating off my neck. No kidding.

Anyways, saw Chord on KXLL and my heart instantly broke. Please, i'm going to call him niao chao wo from today onwards. His hair, his HAIR!! And i can't get his album and April's friend always 'forgot' to buy for her. (Or so he claims)

The songs in his album is different from his demo (obviously) and i only have his demo. Freaking mad.

Anyways, am going to try sleeping and ignore the horrible heat.

And oh yes, i'm going to call April as 'bat' (aka wo de xiao bian fu) because that's what i apparently called her eons ago. I have no memory of that but *shrugs*, Ching Ching's bat!! :)

Anyway...

NIGHT NIGHT WORLD!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

L_v_y D_v_y (would you like to buy a vowel?)

I really hope Dada would buy a printer real soon. Or a scanner would be equally awesome. A 2-in-1 scanner and printer would be awesomely fabulous.

And YAY!! Gary said we'll go on a hunting trip for echochrome soon. I'm itching just to play that game. It's a random puzzle solving game. I am starting to find so much fun in puzzles. I'm already at puzzle 298 of my huge sudoku book.

My nails are still as mad fugly as before.

And i'm starting to like to use the word 'mad'. It basically has the same meaning as 'very'.

Anyways, remember the post on 如果還有明天 a few entries down? I actually found quite some sentences that i like then and actually had been collating them since then.

So here goes:

没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
No one deserves your tears, for the one for deserves it would never make you cry.

我爱你....为了你的幸福，我愿意放弃一切---包括你。
I love you... for the sake of your happiness, i'm willing to give up everything --- even if it means giving you up.

开始的时侯，我们就知道，总会有终结。
Before it started, we know that one day, it'll end.

孤单不是与生俱来，而是由你爱尚上个人的那一刻开始。
Loneliness does not come by itself, it comes when you start falling in love with someone.

爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你.
If the person who loves you doesn't love you the way you hope he does, it does not mean he's not loving you with all of his heart.

爱情是一朵生长在悬崖峭壁边缘上的花，想摘取就必须要有勇气.
Love is just like a flower growing at the side of a cliff, you need to have utmost courage if you want to have it.

老婆和老妈掉进了河里，我先救老妈，因为是老妈给了我生命，我找不到任何理由丢下她不管。老婆如果没救上来，我可以再给她陪葬，在墓里继续我们的爱情。
If both my wife and mother fell into the water at the same time, i'll save my mother first, because it was my mother who gave birth to me, i can't find any reason to leave her in the lurch. If i can't save my wife, then i can die with her and continue our love in the grave.

从前有一个男孩和一个女孩，男孩对女孩说如果我有一晚粥，我会把其中一半给你。女孩长大后，嫁了人，但她总是想起男孩的话，她觉得那才是她一生中的最爱。
Once upon a time, there was a little boy and girl. The little boy told the girl that if he had only a bowl of porridge, he would give half of it to her. The little girl grew up and got married, but whenever she recalls what the little boy told her, she felt that that was the love of her life.

如果我不爱你，我就不会思念你，我就不会妒忌你身边的异性，我也不会失去自信心和斗志，我更不会痛苦，如果我能够不爱你，那该多好！
If i don't love, you, then i wouldn't yearn for you, i won't be jealous of the females around you, i won't lose my confidence and determination, i wouldn't even be sad, if i can not love you, how good would it be!

男人想做女人的初恋情人，女人想做男人的最后情人。
Men always want to be the first lover of his woman, but women always wants to be the last lover of her man.

男人应该找个他爱的人做妻子,女人应该找一个爱她的人做老公
Men should find someone he loves to be his wife, women should find a man who loves her to be his husband.

吝啬是男人的大忌，就算穷也不要做出一副穷样。有人抱怨女人只爱男人的钱，其实也并不一定就是这样，有的女人喜欢男人为她花钱，有时候也是为了证实自己在男人心目中的位置，男人如果喜欢一个女人，一定愿意为她花钱的。
Stinginess is a big no no to men, even if you're poor, you're still have to put on a pretense. Some people complain that women only love his money, but it might not be the case, some women loves men spending on her, sometimes this is just to prove her status in his heart. If a man love her, he will be willing to spend it on her.

每一个女孩都曾经是一个无泪的天使，当她遇上心爱的男孩时便有了泪，天使落泪，坠落人间，所以每一个男孩都不能辜负他的女孩，因为她曾经为了你，放弃了整个天堂。
Every girl was once an angel without tears, but she started to have them when she met the boy whom she loves. The angel cried and fell to earth. And that's why every boy shouldn't hurt his girl, for she gave up the entire heaven just for you.

我以为小鸟飞不过沧海，是以为小鸟没有飞过沧海的勇气，十年以后我才发现，不是小鸟飞不过去，而是沧海的那一头，早已没有了等待……
I thought the little bird couldn't fly across the ocean because he doesn't has the courage to. But i finally realized it after ten years that it's not because the little bird can't fly across, but it's just that, at the other end of the ocean, there is no one waiting for him anymore.

不要轻易说爱，许下的承诺就是欠下的债！
Do not say you love someone so easily, for the promise you made is just like owing a debt.

脸上的快乐，别人看得到。心里的痛又有谁能感觉到.
People can see the happiness on one's face. But who can feel the pain in one's heart.

Yes, permission is given to laugh at my pathetic attempts in translating
:D

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

April asked me to... and i DID

Capricorn is the tenth sign of the zodiac and is represented by the goat. Capricorns are very ambitious, driven by the need for success, money, position and authority. Their career and succeeding in it is very important to them, so much so that they often prefer to be in charge. But despite their aspirations, they are also very grounded and practical people. Capricorns are ruled by Saturn, the planet of limitations and it is almost as if Saturn realises that time can be short, therefore they are great organisers and planners.

However, Capricorns are also patient and willing to wait for what they want. Despite their intense focus on their goals, they can be very witty. They are cautious when making decisions, especially decisions that involve money. Not only are they good at saving money, but they also know how to make good investments. Their materialistic drive to amass wealth is due to a Capricorn's need for security. They are very proud people, who usually repay kindness but more because they do not want to feel as if they "owe" anyone anything.

Capricorns are the most likely sign to marry someone for their money or status in life. Not that marriage will prevent a Capricorn from continuing to be ambitious in his or her own right. But, even when their partner is more financially and socially powerful, Capricorns need to be in control.

Loners

Their desire for fame and success, combined with their independent nature and natural inhibition, Capricorns tend to be the loners of the zodiac. Many Capricorns have tunnel vision when it comes to their goals. They disregard everything else - family, friends, even their own emotions - while in pursuit of their goal. They know they have what it takes to complete the job, so the "I don't need you" attitude often turns others off.

Weaknesses

Capricorns can be seen as odd by others for various reasons. Most do not understand their need for success, their materialistic tendencies, or their perfectionism. They are often focused on one thing at a time, ignoring all others. They can be bossy and domineering and do not quickly forgive those who have crossed them.

Parts of the Body Ruled by Capricorn

The bones, joints and knees - Capricorns may find they suffer from stiff joints, rheumatism, arthritis and orthopedic problems.

Capricorns are very determined to rise to the top. They will exert all their energy into achieving a goal, sacrificing relationships if needed. They often wear masks to prevent people from seeing the real person they are, but those who take the time will find Capricorns to be loyal and affectionate.

- Extracted from http://www.exploreastrology.co.uk/PersonalityTraitsCapricorn.html

It's all about the eyes, babeh

-entry deleted and replaced-

Yes, i slept for a mere 6 hours in my holidays again and that sucked. I woke up, snoozed my alarm and held it in my hand, falling back into dreamland. And 2 minutes later, you heard a crash and find me happily sleeping in my bed with a phone on the floor.

And then repeat this process for another three times until i got pissed and climbed out of bed.

So yes, i went out with April to meet a dealer (Scott Clement) and he's freaking tall, freaking nice and speaks freaking good English. Okay, obviously for he's a Caucasian but... yes, HE'S COOL!!

I was even kidding with April about stalking him. Seriously. And he has this one fun game in his PSP, called echochrome or something. I was hoping to be able to find that game, steal Gary's old PSP and start playing with it.

The game which i was so interested in.

Anyways, after getting the PSP from Scott, we went to FEP where April got her shoes. And while on the way there, we saw Fauzi. Yes, Fauzi as the Fauzi in Fauzi. I know i'm not making sense to you, cause i don't even get what i'm trying to say.

So yes, after her shoes was lashes. Found some really cheap lashes (3 boxes for $5) and i got a box for myself and a tube of glue. Wonder if it's good.

Then was nails. I totally hate it. It's like really fugly.

$27 for this. Man, i'm like so mad angry now.

And while doing these, April and i was bored and so she started to take pictures.

Looks like a nice place, doesn't it?

With nice bottles of shimmery sliver and black polish.

But don't be fooled. See my face and you'll know.

Look at my totally 'sian' face. Yes, i saw her art design and tried all my best to not run away screaming.

And after it was done was subway. DARN, i forgot i still have one cookie in my bag.

-munches cookie-

OH, THEY'RE FREAKING GOOD!!

And next was a long walk to Cine. But while on the way there, April was stalked!! By four random guys asking her for a survey. Of course i fleeted around them and took pictures.

April shy shy.

April: Yes, i was saying... aren't my scarf nice? :)

Yes, i know. Can i have your phone number... please? :P

So after that was a long walk towards Cine where we saw Isaac (then i repeated his name continuously until April got annoyed) and Steven Lim. Our poor April (and feet) :(

So yes, look at our neoneo!!

$12 (aka 900yen) for this stupid machine. But still, i like it :)

As she puts in the coins...

I started to take pictures.

While she continues to choose...

I continued too :)

Unedited neoneos.

Please ignore my slight center parting... PLEASE?!!

April cloned her hair in some places, can you spot it? And April was screaming at me instructions while taking this picture.

SHI QIAN MIAN DE!!
BEI DUI BEI, BEI DUI BEI!!!!

Mad.

OMG. My body is semi at the peachy coloured area. HA! I'm such an awesome mole. Could your mole do that? :P

And yes. April cloned my hair too. If you can't notice it, i really got no comments. Absolutely none at all. But i like the blue seal ON my head at the left. It's cute :D

Oh yes, did i mention, we saw Isaac again after leaving Cine.

And yep, that's all.
:D

More photos could be seen in facebook. CLICK.

Would you still pretend?

如果還有明天
If there is still a tomorrow

薛：我们都有看不开的时候
All of us have the time when we couldn't get over something

　　总有冷落自己的举动
Always desolating ourselves
　　
但是我一定会提醒自己
But i will certainly remind myself

　　如果还有明天
If there is still a tomorrow

信：我们都有伤心的时候
All of us have times when we're sad

　　总不在乎这种感受
Always not caring about this feeling
　
　但是我要把握每次感动
But i will cherish every touching moment

　　如果还有明天
If there is still a tomorrow

薛：如果还有明天
If there is still a tomorrow
　　
你想怎样装扮你的脸
How would you put on your facade

信：如果没有明天
If tomorrow is no longer there
　
　要怎么说再见 ....
How do we bid farewell

(x3)[薛,信,薛+信:] 如果你看出我的迟疑
If you can see my hesitation

　　是不是你也想要问我
Do you also want to ask me

　　究竟有多少事还没做
How many things have i not done

　　如果还有明天
If there is still a tomorrow

薛：如果真的还能够有明天
If i really still could have a tomorrow

　　是否能把事情都做完
Can i really finish all these things
　
　是否一切也将云消烟散
Can everything just disappear just like that

　　如果没有明天
If tomorrow is no longer there

　　如果还有明天
If there is still a tomorrow
　　
你想怎样装扮你的脸
How would you put on your facade

　　如果没有明天
If tomorrow is not longer there
　
　要怎么说再见 ....
How do we bid farewell

柯：1990的秋天演完最后一场生老病死的对话送来新的希望
1990's autumn, after the last performance, the conversation between life, sickness and death brings new hope
　　
下雨了下雨了那是你的眼泪吗将我淋湿可以吗让我感受你的痛啊
It's raining, it's raining. Is that your tears? Could you rain on me your tears? Let me feel your pain too.

　　笑我吧不管黑夜是否太傻笑我吧走在边缘只剩挣扎
Laugh at me. Regardless if the night is too foolish. Laugh at me. Could only struggle while walking at the borderline.

　　笑我吧哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈还有明天
Laugh at me. Hahahahaha~ There is still a tomorrow

1990的秋天演完最后一场生老病死的对话送来新的希望
1990's autumn, after the last performance, the conversation between life, sickness and death brings new hope
　　
下雨了下雨了那是你的眼泪吗将我淋湿可以吗让我感受你的痛啊
It's raining, it's raining. Is that your tears? Could you rain on me your tears? Let me feel your pain too.

　　笑我吧不管黑夜是否太傻笑我吧走在边缘只剩挣扎
Laugh at me. Regardless if the night is too foolish. Laugh at me. Could only struggle while walking at the borderline.

　　笑我吧哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈还有明天
Laugh at me. Hahahahaha~ There is still a tomorrow
　　
是否这生命能够听的到希望我们的梦想永远不会被忘掉
Can this life actually hear it? Let our hopes never to be forgotten.

I know i'm crap at translating,
but this lyrics is toooooo good to be missed out.

Monday, June 8, 2009

good morning

Entry edited: Apparently i don't work well with anger and threats.

GOOD MORNING WORLD!!!
(despite the fact it's like 7 in the evening now)

Yes, i finally got some more sleep ever since i woke up at NINE. Yes folks, NINE in the MORNING. And yes, you are still correct, i'm still in my holidays.

Waking up at nine
+
During holidays

=
Very pissed off and tired Ching

Yes, i got really tired by 4pm, so i put on iTunes, threw my glasses away and slept. And i slept nothing like a log.

Darn.

I had random unknown phone numbers calling me (which i ignored and went back to sleep by the way) and texts asking if i want to hang out again sometime this week.

I was sleeping and yes, i read but chucked the phone away once i'm done.

But still, it was a nice three hour nap and i'm feeling... achy all over. Damn those shoulders.

How i wish for a bottle of chicken essence now (though i told Mom i would prefer Bird's Nest albit more but she snubbed me and got me this:)

Apparently she thinks i'm still dumb and should take some of this to 'supposedly improve my brain power' somehow or other thingy. Dammit.

And i'm sorry. I really can't seem to make this look appetizing. BUT it might look like this, but it tastes awesome.
(I can't stop the desire to steal one before taking this. Explaining the empty spot at the right. And after this image is taken, i ate another two more.)

I don't knowif you can see it. But there are supposedly sea cucumbers, squid and pacific calms in here. Dad bet that i would steal pacific calms after this shot is taken but he lost!! I took sea cucumber. Pity, we didn't bet with money. I should have earn a couple of bucks from these kind of daily bets. :P

But yes, i think i'm starting to hate seafood now. Especially prawns. OMG, not the prawns please. Maybe not all prawns cause i simply loovvveee the springy bouncy kind of prawns. I wonder how do they actually make them that springy. But all the other kind of mushy normal prawns (like the one in the above photo), i have this long standing hatred with them.

Anyways, i forgot to upload these photos that i actually said i would.

Here goes:

-images deleted-

I'm a sucker when it comes to negative emotions.

Gomen world.

P/s: That green bottle is evil. It's the most horrid thing i've ever tasted. EWW!!

P/p/s: Lyrics for "如果還有明天" is coming up. Just heard it on TV today and love the lyrics to the max!!!

FOOD!!!

I wonder...

Wonder if chicken essence, sea cucumber, pacific clams, squids and durian would give me an tummyache if i eat them all together in one day.

Would show you pictures later as to why... (hopefully)

P/s: OMG. I'm gonna stop blogging (NOT). No seriously, for i'm freaked out by a few twenty PLUS year old bloggers(?).

They used twit language. I'm SCARRED once again.

*sigh*

But seriously, should i eat durians now?

NATM

OMG. Bitter durians. Love love love bitter durians man.

I was even secretly plotting to stuff some into Gary's millkies. But plan was foiled.

:(

It was expected though.

:(

Anyways, Night At The Museum never gets too old for me. I was watching while eating dinner and durian and was still laughing all the way.

Remember the scene in Night At The Museum 2 where the little Roman general ran through the grass field going YARGHHHHHH and the next scene was the silence of the entire grass field?

Night At The Museum had this scene too. It shows Owen and the little Roman general going YARGHHHH (while holding onto a rope) and the next scene shows the silence of the entire place.

There was quite some similarities between 1 and 2 but i still couldn't stop laughing.

I swear this doesn't gets old at all!!

And, the Egyptian king in Night At The Museum IS CUTE!! Very cute may i add. Pity he didn't appear at 2.

:(

Boohoo

Sunday, June 7, 2009

From the a to the b

I.AM.TRAUMATIZED!!!

Yes. I'm scarred... for life. For i bathed with a freaking fat lizard.

I swear that thing was at least ten centimeters long. It's one hellva of a lizard. And it has red armpits too. OMG.

*shudders*

Anyways moving on. Daddy thought i was so good at eating yesterday. I ate yong tau hu before i went home, and horfun plus MCD upsize for supper. Then i made my usual millkies (The thing that Gary actually snarled at me for)

And after making them, i put them on a plate, which has another plate of ice water and saucer under it, before covering them with yet another plate and went to have a shower.

I know by directly placing them into the fridge is way easier. But it wouldn't harden as nicely if i don't semi-freeze it first.

So i went to take a shower and realized it was already 5am by the time i was done. I came out of shower and saw the need to wrap millkies. I thought about putting it into a container or paper napkins and in the end, i took the first thing i saw.

Baking paper.

I just randomly cut a piece out and wrapped it up. Then i placed it back on the plate and totally forget to put it in the fridge.

Dada woke up and saw it and kind-heartedly placed it in the fridge for me while thinking what a pig i was. He thought i was hungry and made those for myself. Yes, i have the habit of getting monstrously hungry at nights.

And when i woke up at ten, i went O.O as i suddenly remembered about millkies. I ran (literally) into the kitchen and realized it was in the fridge and happily went back to bed to laze around for a bit more.

Then while i was bathing, i was thinking to myself that i wasn't the one who put it into the fridge. I went O.O again and took out the packet and double checked if Dada stole any of them again.

Daddy loves to steal the things i made. He once stole an ENTIRE batch of cookies i've made. And from then on, i never made that again. To think i quite like it once it comes out of the oven. The soft chocolate chip malt cookies. I like cookies which are soft in the center rather than those which are crispy all over.

Anyways, so i checked and went aghast at the appearance of millkies. It's distorted. It wasn't placed properly and so all of them look misshapen. I took one of the worst looking ones and ate it. Not that bad, just too sweet and the cookies in it was bitter.

Man. This was one of the worst batch. I even accidentally added some water inside. (No, water are NOT supposed to be in it.)

But ah wells. I hope Gary survived this batch too.

*sheepish grin*

Anyways, was talking with April over video webcam just now and realized some things.

April's mom hates me because she thinks i'm a double-sided person and i really don't deny that fact. Just that, maybe i think she shouldn't know, but i really have more than two sides to me.

And i really don't bothered to explain myself to her.

Sorry Pril pril, but

I really see no purpose in doing so.
She called my cell, screamed at me and scolded me for no apparent reason.

And for that second reason, i don't see why i should explain myself to her. It's not like she would get my point (own experience, please) even if i try my best to actually explain. It's not like i have this desire to cry on the way home on the train again anyways. It was embarrassing, i swear. People was looking at me as if i just got dumped or something.

That's not the only issue we talked about. We also talked about relationships and i saw some light, i guess?

Anyways, i insist i got a few good remarks from Gary's friend.

One, was semi-forced/tricked by Gary into saying it, was that Uriah said that i'm a vampire.

I don't care if he didn't mean it. I like being commented that i'm a vampire. My vampiric fetish is unstoppable.

Two, was by Rayden(?) that i looked Japanese.

Saying that i looked either like a Japanese or a Taiwanese would really get yourself into my good books. Of course, saying that i'm a Singaporean is the safest but there is no fun in a fact, ehs?

:P

Most of my classmates guessed i was a Taiwanese when i was in Secondary School (of course, along with China Chinese) and Japanese when i got into Poly.

It was fun having people asking why i invaded their country. Until i insisted that i'm also part of victim side.

(Psst. Think WWII)

Anyways, it's almost 430 and i should really stop blogging.

Till next time...

... Tatas!!