Me & You, Forever ♥

Friday, October 30, 2009

Dehydrated... again?

It was so cold in the studio that i was literally shivering and Mon just had to not bring his jacket that day. Asked around and no one had it. It was so sad. And well... those who have it are wearing it and i'm shy.

-silence-

HEYS!!! :((

Anyways, was so cold and i think that escalated this sickness. Came home and took a nap. Woke up feeling absolutely crappy. Throat was so dry that just some moisture leaked into my throat and i got into a coughing fit. Eyes were so dry too that everything became blurry.

Took my temperature and it was still fine. But came to night and my temperature rised. From 37.8 to 40.5 degrees. Took paracetamol and buffen. Kept on dozing off while the thermometer was still in my mouth. Only when i grind my teeth (shut up!!) did i realized that the thermometer is still there. Temperature managed to leave the 40s region and mom finally let me sleep.

Woke up and feeling worse than ever. I was whimpering and whining all the way. I think i shivered so much that mom had to press my shoulders down.

Went to polyclinic and temperature was 40.5 degrees. Got sent up to see the doctor and he referred me to SGH.

Got there and waited for like HOURS.

Finally got to see the doctor and she gave me a drip. Reeves was the first person who asked me to take care of myself through sms. Was super touched. Although i do think that he asked me because he wanted someone to go with him to the rehearsal with him.

Then Joel somehow heard from Reeves (no idea how he did though, cause technically, Joel and Reeves are from different classes) and he sent me a text too. Super moved times two.

Texted Gary and April while i was alone, on the drip and bored.

Doctor said i was a little dehydrated (yes, again. It's not easy to get yourself normally hydrated seeing how dehydrated i was in the past) and white blood count is still a little higher than normal. Although it wasn't as high as the previous times i went there.

And she gave me an referral appointment to a specialist to see the reason as to why i get this fever every month or so.

Yes. I realized this wasn't what i wanted to blog about. I was talking about yesterday's class because i wanted to say this:

Me (to LJ): Oei. That time, 2-3am, MSN you about proposal kenna rejected, why you didn't reply ar?
Max: WOAH? You proposed to him 2-3am that day and you (points to LJ) rejected you (looks at me)?
LJ: YEA. You proposed to me and i rejected you.
Max: (turns towards LJ) You blind ar. (turns towards me) You also blind ar.
Me: What lah? PD kenna rejected lah. Siao eh.

(I just had to give Max pink. Cause *coughs*, i don't like him very much. SSHHHH! :P)

Me (to this guy whom i can never remember his name): Hey, you got jacket.
Him: No. But i have manual jacket. (raises his arms into a hug)
Me: What the fuck. Go away!!

-twenty minutes later before presentation is starting-
Him: Hey, i'm cold. Give me manual jacket leh.
LJ: Stop hitting on her. She has a boyfriend already.

HAH in that guy's face!!

And i also think the Halloween parties in our school are getting from bad to worse. Last year was one of the worst parties i've ever attended, though it was fun. There was this guy acting as the joker (which Haylie had a little swooning session over) who came over and started to have this staring competition with me.

But this year? Guess the tagline. "The rise of the Mafia". Too much Facebook apps huh, my friend?

Verdict? Halloween is the best day to well... eat sweets and cookies. YUMM!!!

P/s: Did i mention... there was this guy at the fever zone who looks like Andrew? :P

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

demaraction line of the love

I'm starting to think that today is a really good day.

First, Andrew suddenly asked me if i did my hair. I went O.O before saying, i wore glasses instead. And he told Amon (who was in between us) that he is a sonic person, not a visual person. So he could hear that something is different with me but can't tell what. Yes, the first good thing to start off the day.

Then Amon, Hazirah and i were talking and laughing about with the fire alarm button along with fat thighs. Thighs that were so fat that the legs can't touch each other.

Sat through the talk and almost dozed off. Literally. Walked around knowing the DSA rooms. While outside this room with this synthesizer that is the only one in SEA, we saw Sam walked past. I think i literally swooned.

Walked around albeit more and this recording studio really resembles the one i saw in SP the other time.

Found Lava and gonna meet him again. Got the attendance card and invites and started reading on the way home.

Best book i've read in months. Was reading another one a few weeks ago and that sucked.

I realized i like romance novels that are written in the point of view of a girl's and having two guys liking her.

It's a dream of every girl :)

please be in your smart casual attire. -roll eyes-

I actually can't see very well with my glasses (it's a hundred odd too weak for my eyes) and so it actually does strain my eyes pretty badly. Especially right after i took out my lenses or have tired eyes.

Lucky me, able to write with exhausted and strained eyes coupled with blurry sight. Not everyone is able to have this privilege, right?

Okay, back to what i need to talk about before i hit my snooze button. Got to wake up on my rest day for school. What life.

Just received a mail on the awards thingy and in my most honest opinion, it is one of the more retarded things i've seen my school done. To be fair, i really have to mention 'in my most honest personal opinion' because i might be biased in some way or other. Not that i care about me being biased (i just realized there is no such word as 'biasness') but i just don't like the idea of other people sneering at me, proving me wrong.

HA PEOPLE!! I'M ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU!!!

Anyways, having this award ceremony in the first place is quite a plain (read: retarded) idea to me personally. I mean, they are giving it to the top 10% of the entire school. I mean, we have like thousands of people in school, and top 10% equates to a hundred odd two.

What's the point. There is no sense of achievement being in the midst of so many people right?

Why couldn't they just award and recognize those who are really good. Like the top 5% or 3%?

I have like tons of friends who actually got into top 10% so i thought, since we have so many of us flooding them, probably it will be more of a casual event. Especially so since they decided to hold it on the day of Halloween itself (31st October).

But the mail i just received just said otherwise.

Other than having to get attendance cards for ourselves (and invitation cards for our 'guests' -yes, you can picture me rolling my eyes now-), we have to wear (let me quote)

"Smart Casual. No shorts, bermudas, singlets and slippers/sandals are allowed."

Wearing smart casual on Halloween. Ever spared a thought for those going to parties or clubs?

I'm not eating at some fancy restaurant with dress code. I feel like i'm fully entitled to wear my checkered red high cuts. It's Halloween. I'm definitely entitled to... NOT.

I'm not even going to some fancy place. We're in our very own LECTURE HALL!!

Super brilliant, isn't it?

My initial idea of black button up shirt (at least i was trying to be polite, being a tad formal-looking top) with leggings and checkered skirt paired with highcuts and my uber cute cat-eared jacket is ruined.

Probably going for heels again instead of highcuts then.

To be honest, i don't see what's wrong with highcuts. Maybe i should just wear it. Okay. Maybe i'll wear it tomorrow!! Oh no, i don't have clothes to go with it. Dammit. My black jeans is waiting to be washed.

Okay, i think i'm being a little too biased right now. For something just went wrong a few minutes to half an hour ago with my side and that changed my opinions towards the school and so, it resulted in me having serious issues with my diploma, my school and the entire campus right now.

That's why you could see as to why i'm getting so picky or making a huge fuss out of nothing.

Such a grudging soul.

I think i would be getting screwed either tomorrow or on Thursday. Or worse!! Both!!

Seriously!! I am starting to have this disdain for my school growing exponentially within me.

I'm so angry that the hairs on the back of my neck is standing.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

click clock

She felt sick. Just like any other time when her emotions were unstable.

Her mom was annoyed with her and she was annoyed and bitter at everything else.

She walked fast. Too fast, strides too huge on her heels.

It all happened so fast. She stretched one of her legs as far as she could and she can't remembered what happened next, she only knew she fell onto the road.

Her knees and palms hurt but she didn't care. She felt but she ignored it. She stood up and continued walking.

The cold attitude that her mom had been given her for the entire journey dissolved. She asked if she was alright and started to nag at her like how she always did.

Tears welled within her eyes like how a little spoiled kid would do.

She didn't let it fall. She just swept at the multiple cuts on her knees and quietly dabbed her eyes and nose.

Her mom showed more concern for her.

And while the cuts sting along with the expressionless face, she knew that the price was paid... in full.

Just give her a little more time and she can go back to how she was. How she was able to ignore her own thoughts and feelings. Just a little more time. If she can pretend that it doesn't hurt, she is almost done with this quest.

Behind every beauty lies an ugly truth

Moisture seeped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She didn't even had time to control it.

There was no pain aching in her chest this time round. Her nose just felt sour and as she stares at the screen, tears rolled down.

She once swore to herself that she would never put herself through this shit again. And she did what she swore.

Nothing could once make a muscle in her face twitch. Blank stares and expressionless features accompanied her throughout every situation she faced.

She experienced no happiness. Though neither sadness.

When she thought she could stripped away that facade and start living like a normal person who cries when she's sad, laugh when she's happy, spew expletives when she's mad, roll her eyes when she's annoyed and finally subtly show how she feels.

But she didn't anticipate the pain. One of her ultimate fear is pain. She's not afraid of death, she is afraid of a painful death.

And now, as her cheeks were caked with trails of dried tears mixed with streams of fresh ones, she recalled.

She remembered as to why she swore upon being emotionless. Because she was afraid of the pain that accompanies it.

As a surge of numbness surged through her veins, she continued staring at the screen through eyes blurred with tears.

Her face showed no expression, her eyes stared blankly ahead.

That was how she was. And she's on the verge of breaking down and back into the world without joy or pain.

She likes pretty artworks. Because they are so ugly.

As her eyes glistened, she bit her lips and looked away. And all she could do was to will the tears not to drop.

She closed her eyes and felt this clench in her heart.

Her eyelids trembled. A heavy sigh escaped from her quivering lips.

The grip within her chest tightened and her eyes showed nothing but plain unfathomable, unexplainable sadness.

But she smiled.

She is used to this. Her smiles are the brightest when she is at her most painful moments.

She never tells. No one ever would know what is going on within her. She never says until she can no longer bear it. Physically and emotionally.

She understands reality, albeit too well in actual fact. She accepts this cold, harsh world. She doesn't try to fight this society because she knows.

She gradually forgot how to feel. Because emotions never helped her.

She started not to care. Because concern would only hinder her.

She slowly detached herself from this world for this is the only way to protect herself.

She is afraid of pain. She has to know the fact that she is alone. She has to know the fact that no one would grieve for her when she dies. She has to know the fact that there is no pretty things in this world.

She came to an understanding. She accepted it calmly.

She hasn't been through life much. Because she doesn't allow herself to. How can she live her life when she had already detetched herself from it.

Living in a castle of her own, throwing away the key of the gates she built. Never dared to venture outside of this sanctuary she gave herself and no one ever dared to scale this huge wall to reach her.

She lived alone.

As the ache within her subsided, she closed her eyes and took in one last heavy breath. Holding it,she willed herself to not think about anything.

Eyes fluttered opened and all traces of moisture disappeared. Cold piercing gaze was in its place...

... As how it normally always was

Friday, October 16, 2009

if this is what you want, then maybe i should just give it in to you

So many things had been happening and it was hard trying to swim above all of it just to survive. It's suffocating and i'm getting tired of it.

Just trying to hang on is getting to be more difficult by the day.

So many things to say, so many things i can't say.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

500 days of Summer

Seen the intro for "500 days of Summer"?

This movie is completely fictional and any resemblance to any person is -blah blah blah-

Especially you, Jessica Beckham

Bitch.

Haha!! Every one laughed.

Not a bad movie though. Just that i can't really appreciate it with painful eyes.

Monday, October 5, 2009

pink.green.

Despite the fact that i'm so so so assed up tired after class (oh no, don't get me ranting. I think i even started complaining to Uriah when he asked me about it. I can absolutely rant to anyone right now.)

I gave myself some new hair color (possibly colors which i would never get in reality.)

Looks very awkward on me. Ah wells.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I GOT A NEW HAIR COLOR!!!

Red is the new... errr.. green?
:P

Friday, October 2, 2009

Capricorn

Warning: Because i'm tired, i'm not going to shorten the text/make it into bullet forms. So just scroll through if you're not interested in reading things about Capricorn. (They're pretty superficial/general stuff by the way. If you know a little about horoscopes, you'd have known all these already.)

I'm tired but i'm going to do a really short blog post seeing that i took a short nap around 10.30pm.

Although i've done something similar like this a few months back (i remembered doing Leo for Ment and Cancer for WY before too) but i've decided to do it again. I'll try not to repeat what i posted before but since i'm not going to refer to my old entry while writing it, so no promises.

Is it apparent now as to what i'm going to talk about now?

How about now? Better?

If you still didn't get it, i'm just going to help you out a little over here, i'm going to talk about ME!!

Well, technically speaking, more of my horoscope. Which is the almighty...

CAPRICORN
(December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn is a Cardinal earth sign, ruled by Saturn and prides itself on success. The Capricorn individual is stable, hard-working, practical, methodical, and ambitious, never losing sight of his goals regardless of how many obstacles are in the way.

Famous and historical characters sharing the Capricorn sign include Elvis Presley (January 8), Edgar Allen Poe (January 19), President Richard M. Nixon (January 9), Martin Luther King (January 15), and Mel Gibson (January 3).

(Two performer/people in entertainment industry, two leaders, one poet)
Nope. No similarties to me. All of them are guys too, right?
Sexist!!!
(Just kidding)

Capricorn on the outside is a:

cool
calm
reserved individual with powerful inner strength that can rise to the top through conviction and perseverance.
enjoys power, respect, and authority
willing to toe the line for as long as it takes to achieve his goals.

Inwardly, however, Capricorn may not be the self-confident pillar of strength that he appears to be, and when his power or authority is compromised, he may make flawed decisions that could cause everything he has worked for to go down in flames in a spectacular way.

Even so, the Capricorn personality:

is firmly grounded in reality
will consistently be the voice of reason in a chaotic world.
understands why the rules are in place and conforms accordingly
may seem unfriendly, arrogant, or without humor to outsiders
but is inwardly quite warm and sympathetic, often with a surprisingly quick wit.

Capricorn's general outlook is fairly rigid, and once he forms a view of the world, he will often stubbornly hold on to that view despite compelling evidence to the contrary. He may also be subject to a degree of pessimism, often seeing the glass as half empty rather than half full.

Socially, Capricorn is inhibited and uncomfortable in new situations, approaching others at first with caution and suspicion. As far as money is concerned, Capricorn approaches finances as he does everything else - with prudence, planning, and discipline. As such, there are not many Capricorns on the bottom of the barrel in society.

For those with a Capricorn child, you have a kid who is:

quiet
obedient
intelligent beyond years
introversion from an early age.
happiest in a close circle of friends and family
determined little souls who will do well in school and will often be "teacher's pet" in the classroom.
with a personality based on discipline and order,
like a quiet space that is all their own with a place for everything and everything in its place.
you don't have to entertain them every minute of the day, as they will pursue his own interests with little input from you.
most helpful around the house, starting at a surprisingly young age.
has a tendency to not be as self-confident as other signs, and without positive feedback, may feel unsuccessful and withdraw into themselves.

Therefore, as the parent of a Capricorn child, be sure to make it a point to praise your child's efforts at every opportunity, making sure he knows that you value his contributions. Be aware also that even when young, Capricorns have a tendency to become quite pessimistic, so correcting this by pointing out the sliver lining will go far in helping make your Capricorn a successful part of society in later years.

(So that's what went wrong when i was growing up and resulted in me being like this.)

Capricorns are a dream come true for the boss:

arrive punctually and will stay late whenever necessary.
willingly carry a heavy load of work,
will steadily and methodically tackle every task without complaint.
takes his work seriously
has the highest work ethic in the zodiac.
does not waste any time at work socializing, and may therefore be considered cool and unapproachable
Though he may not be the most popular person in the office, everyone knows they can count on him to hold up his end.

If you have a Capricorn boss:

likely a stern taskmaster
expects you to dress appropriately
hold down your share of work.
However, if he feels you are a valuable part of his team, he will take very good care of you and show loyalty and compassion not seen often in bosses from other zodiac signs.

If you have found a romantic partner in a Capricorn:

you have an individual that approaches love just like he approaches anything else - with caution and reserve.
Remember, though, that this goat has a fish tail, and the fish is the symbol of emotions and feelings.
Though Capricorn is known for being traditional, stoic, and even stodgy, underneath is a loyal, sensitive, and yes - even witty partner waiting to come to the surface.

A Capricorn partner will expect you to:

dress and behave in a civilized manner
the more you can furthering their career, the better
Capricorn will not be the most spontaneous lover on earth, but once committed, they will provide you with stability, loyalty, and security for life

Capricorn in any relationship is:

down-to-earth traditionalist who follows the rules
will be a reliable, trustworthy friend who will suffer your shortcomings in silence rather than make a fuss
Capricorn will not be the to go out for a night of reckless partying, but will gladly grill some steaks and provide red wine for a civilized evening with a few close friends
good friend to bounce ideas off of, as he is by nature cautious and reasonable, always weighing the pros and cons of any given situation
not be a comedian every day, but will surprise you with very funny comments that seem to come out of the nowhere at the most appropriate moments
All in all, your Capricorn friend will be there for you when you need him, and at work when you don't!

A Capricorn female is like that goat, which has to reach the top of the mountain. It doesn't matter what position she starts and how slowly she walks, she will be at the top much before those, who were running in front of her. She will do it with such subtlety that you wouldn't even know when she crossed all the milestones. She has her aims and ambitions, but they don't come before her family.

Almost all the Capricorn women have:

immaculate etiquette.
an inherent sense of social elegance, modesty and conventional look.
Though she looks completely calm, composed and balanced, don't think she doesn't have mood swings.
She can become really depressed if she thinks that someone has misjudged or ill-treated her.
In such a case, she may brood for months at a time.
This stems from the fact that she does not feel as secure as she seems to be and fears being ridiculed or laughed at.

It is advisable not to tease a Capricorn girl; she may take it too literally. Though she may pretend otherwise, she seeks as much compliments as the other girls, probably even more. Show her that you appreciate her and make her feel secure. It will help her in opening up and showing her deliberately controlled passion. A Capricorn girl's personality doesn't include the trait of wishful thinking. She sees only those dreams that can be converted into reality. She enters a boat only when she knows that the waters are safe.

She will emphasize heavily on social etiquette and you never see her serving the guests in anything but crystal cutlery. There will always be something fresh about her beauty and she will never ever be unattractive, even when she is wearing those hair-curlers. A Capricorn female will appear to be extremely confident, but inside she is quite unsure about her appearance. You will have to reassurance her time and again that she is attractive. She will always be honest and will expect the same from you.

At the same time, you will have to respect her family. Remember when you marry a Capricorn woman; you marry her family and relatives too. If ever you criticize her family members, better ensure that the criticism is constructive or she will never forgive you. Her love for you will never prevent her from taking care of her family. The plus point of this attitude is that she will be equally considerate towards your family too and give them the same respect as her own fellows. She will never mind if you cancel your holiday trip to pay for dad's operation.

The home of a Capricorn female will always be sparkling clean, that to with effortless ease. She is a realist and daydreaming is not her idea of passing the time. She has the ability to make even the dullest of surroundings looks warm and attractive, with her earthly passion. She will never stop you from dreaming, as long as there is bread in the house and the dreams have at least some chances of turning into reality. As a mother, she will teach the kids discipline, economy, practicality, etiquettes and respect for elders. Make her feel loved, protected, needed and cared for and in return, she will support you in realizing your dreams and give you a deep, lasting love!

No other sign is so committed to earning worldly success. Usually the most serious sign of the zodiac, Capricorn has learned to mix more pleasure into everyday dealings. For all of the goat's successes, taking the time to enjoy conquests is highly recommended.

For Capricorn, there's nothing wrong with business before pleasure, as long as desire isn't always overlooked. Too much of serious Saturn can bring on melancholy, so goats must learn to deal with Saturn's heavy responsibility-laden influence.

Looking good in public is an important thing and having success in a chosen occupation, or hobby is one of the best ways to be acknowledged. Capricorn will hold steady ground until victory is achieved. More often than not, good planning has made the goat a winner, in a lot of life's contests. No flash is needed to get the job done. Capricorn wins the day by observing the situation at hand, then acting accordingly. There isn't a rush to judgment and this sign won't be swayed by tinsel and cheap lighting. Instead, there is intense concentration on the core problem, using only what's necessary to win.