Me & You, Forever ♥

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

一直被問

Allen: 小黑是不是在追Jo?
Me: 恩恩！
Allen: 大多少？4年哦？
Me: Errrr,應該是吧？

-after a long long long while-

Allen: 小黑嘞？等他送你回家啊？
-cues myself laughing like mad-
Cheng Xu: 不要問錯人哦
Tony: 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！(imagine super loud laughter)
-cues myself still laughing like mad (I laughed so much that I couldn't breathe)-
Allen: 是你哦？
Me： -點頭-
Allen: 真的是你哦？
Me: 不是啊，不是我
-turns to Jo-
Me: 他剛才問我小黑是不是在追你，我説是啊
Jo: -cues super diao face towards me-
-cues Allen continues asking-
Jo: 好啦，他兩個都送。

ALLEN IS SUPER EASY TO 騗!! I swear!!

While I was eating my dinner, Jo was on my right and 小黑 on my left, Allen came and ask who was 小黑 sending home all these while.

I was like, OH SHIT!! Tried to act natural and continued to eat. Then Allen was like thinking it's Jo and I was like grinning to myself, breathing a sigh of relief.

I don't know. I just find it somehow what ticklish when I tried to act natural and 默默 continued to eat without being fazed by Allen's question.

NO GUILT SHOWN KAY!!

Super proud!!

And it was super awkward today. I was having supper with 小黑，and was kidding that my parents might suddenly appear. And halfway through supper, my parents really DID appear.

Both of us were super O.O for three seconds and we made our exit pretty promptly after a little while.

Super awkward.

He said he wanted to walk me home and I was like dreading it. But what can I do? Sigh.

Tried my best to walk but then finally gave in and asked him if he wanted to take a cab home instead.

While on the way, I was kidding with him that later I'll run into my parents at the floor of my block and guess what? Yep, I ran into them.

I think I can start giving 4D numbers. Or prophesy.

Okay. There are things that make me super happy as well as things that made me fume like a mad person.

And there are also one thing that made me smile like mad. Something that I longed for a bit more everyday.

Shan't talk anymore. Got to sleep now.

BYEEEEEEEEE!!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Melted Belgium Truffles :(

I love my new Swarovski phone charm from zeh. It's mad super bling. 3 round crystals linked up to a larger heart-shaped crystal.

Pity my phone doesn't has a place to hang phone charms. So I hung it on my wallet and is still loving it to the max.

Zeh gave me the choice between the charm and a bag and I took the charm. Without hesitation.

Okay~ First of all, the color of the bag wasn't something I'll choose. Sky blue. I mean like HELLO? Sky blue? And it was a ridiculous size. Yeah, I don't mind caring out brands but... SKY BLUE? No way I'll let myself caught with such a bag.

Took the charm without thinking even though my phone has no place to hang it. Plus they're bling crystals. BLING crystals. How would I choose some bag over it?

Let zeh and jie fu looked at my arena...

Then jie fu said to change a phone and I was like, JIE FUUU~~ YOU WANNA BUY ME A NEW ONE ARH?

He was like ... HAHAHAHA. But I could almost virtually hear him say, FAT HOPE. YOU WISH. I could see it from his eyes. Oh, so obviously.

Ahhhhs. I got to go off. XZ is bugging me to go sleep now. So byeeeeee.
(Yeah, I'm just going to stop blogging. Probably not going to sleep so early anyways. :D)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

kthxbaiiii

Wrote an entire long long entry on paper at the workplace and decided that I'm too lazy to type it in.

Had an awesome dinner today. Okay, have been technically living superbly happy these days.

With the exception of everyone asking me.

Alright. I'm not the one who's getting the worse, cause I'm always 裝傻ing.

It's XZ who's getting asked.

Technically, only Jo got the real answer from me. Pei Ying got the semi-answer, I still denied it in the end and everyone else from I DON'T KNOW WHO!!!

I was like O.Oing when Mandy said, "Where's your XZ?" And I was like, "MY XZ? Why mine?" And she said ever so nonchalantly, "You don't know meh?"

And when Joyce came in, she was like "JOYCELYNNNNNNNNNNN!!! WHERE'S XZ?"

Jin Qing (also known as Ching, LOL) was like saying something about the 民囯 thingy and I was saying then I have to add 11 years to it and he was like, "HOW DID YOU KNOW EHHHH" and I just told him my first boyf was a Taiwanese. Then he said, "I'm going to come back to one already huh?" And I unleashed my 裝傻ness then he started to ask about the rest of my boyfs. So I said the second was a Singaporean and the third, a Singaporean who lived pretty much his entire life outside Singapore. Then he asked about my fourth and I said no one yet. So he was like saying, "Back to Taiwanese lah" And I was super embarrassed and said, "Don't want lah. Never tried a Japanese before. I want a Japanese." He rolled his eyes so hard I was afraid that his eyes would roll to the back of his head for a second, and said “這邊只有我們兩個人，你就說吧”

But I denied like mad. But clever XZ came in, leaned against my back, gave me his wallet and drank from my cup so naturally.

Yeah, Jin Qing rolled his eyes so hard again.

And Cheng Xu was also like saying, XZ sao hor. And I denied like mad... again. Then he called XZ and asked. WTF!!!

So hard to control this bunch can. Thank goodness I'm only working full time until the end of this week.

Don't have to see them anymore. PHEW!!

If not, I'll be embarrassed like mad!

And when XZ came over to play today, I opened the normal start for them. Then Pei Ying was like asking, "Not start club meh?" and I replied, "They not member what."

I think Pei Ying stoned for 2 seconds after that. Ah wells, they're really not members what. What can I do?

Anyways, I was talking with XZ just now and I carefully steer the conversation to this matter of 劈腿ing.

Do you know how happy I was when I found how seriously he was against it. He was like saying, “如果你會的話，就現在結束呀~ 免得以後還得擔心”

My eyes glittered when I saw this. Okay, it glittered after assuring him I won't 劈. Cause I got 劈 quite 最近ish and don't really trust guys on this issue anymore, but after hanging around him for quite some time, I am just going to try.

Yeah, try.

I don't know. But he's definitely not a rebound guy for sure.

I mean, this kind of guy as a rebound guy?!!!

A guy who can just get SGD$20K with a phone call won't be just my rebound guy. LOL!!

I'm such a sucker for materialism, sue me.

Okay, not only materialism. I'm a sucker for guys who rains concern over me.

♥ guys who find time out of no time just to accompany me. Although I'm so guilty of making him spend so much on cab fare everyday.

Okay lah. I go talk to him now. Kthxbai people.

DON'T ASK ME. I will deny. Ask him. It's easier that way :D

兩万塊新幣!!!

I'M PLANNING A KIDNAPPING SCHEME!!

Target: Tim

WHO WANNA JOIN? :D

♥ ♥

Saturday, March 27, 2010

*kisses*

A new Tiffany & Co necklace.

YAY!!

And a kiss.

YAY FOR THE NECKLACE!!

LOL. Just kidding.

But I just need to flaunt my materialistic side once in a... very frequent while.

LOVES!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

坏男人，好男人

一直認爲是個好人的他，
即使分手后還認爲他是好人的他，
今天終于讓我看清他的面目

一直認爲這段感情破裂是我的原因
即使分手了也不怪他，
今天終于知道了事實

我幹嗎内疚
爲什麽要覺得是因爲我，
因爲我不告訴他我的事情，
說我不拆下我心房而不能溝通的原因
爲了這些而内疚

一向都以爲這段感情的破裂的主要原因是我
一向都這麽想，
都這麽狂妄地想的我
今天終于得到了解脫

因爲不是我的錯

不是我出了軌
不是我還在一段感情的時候就愛上了別的女生
不是我跟別的女生炒了飯

雖然我不能正義的説是我沒錯
但我不認爲我的錯會比他的深

我認爲最好笑的，
就是他在分手的時候，
連事實都不能跟我說

爲何把事情變得這麽美麗，
你多麽的可憐

出了軌
還有什麽可憐的

呵

我現在只希望
小豬不會這樣

如果他會這樣，
就用他老爸的媒體來修理他

好啦~
他剛說
“寶貝，我剛睡醒了”

超開心的
就佔且相信他吧~

嘿 ^^

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

hmmm.

1. **Breakfast** Eggs; Sunny side up, Scrambled or Hard boiled?
Scrambled. Definitely.

2. Sausage or Bacon?
Sausage. Nah, make that sausages!!

3. Pancakes, Crêpes or Waffles?
Crepes. I suddenly feel like eating crepes.

4. Croissant, Danish or Pain au Chocolat?
I only know crosissant and danish. So, I'll go for something I don't know, Pain au Chocolat

5. Coffee, Juice, or Hot Chocolate?
Coffee with hot chocolate <3

6. **Lunch** Pasta; Spaghetti, Tortellini, Lasagna, Ravioli, or Gnocchi?
Er, I only know 3 out of all of those stated. Never had Lasagna before, always wanted to try. So Lasagna, I guess?

7. Pasta Sauce; Cheese, Tomato, or Meat?
MEAT!! Cheese with meat is fine too :D

8. Soup; Mushroom, Tomato, Broccoli, Carrot, Vegetable, Chowder, or Other?
Mushroom, I guess?

9. With Soup; Crackers, Toast, Croutons, Bacon Bits or Baguette?
Actually, none. But toast then.

10. Pizza; Cheese, Hawaiian, Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Veggie, or Other?
Italian sausage.

11. Pizza; Square Slice, Pointy Slice or Deep Dish?
Deep dish :D

12. Sandwich; or white bread or brown?
White!!

13. Toppings; Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, Peppers, Mushrooms,Mayo,Salt, or Other?
Welll, others. Cucumbers and pickles :D

14. Chinese; Springrolls or Eggrolls?
Eggrolls

15. Chinese; Sweet & Sour Pork, Crispy Sesame Beef, or General Tao Chicken?
Sweet & Sour Pork

16. East Indian; Veggie Korma (curry) or Tandoori Chicken?
O.O Chicken, I guess?

17. **Dinner** Meat; Well done, Medium, or Rare?
Well done

18. Mashed Potatoes or Baked?
Baked!!

19. Salad Dressing; Vinaigrette, 1000 Island, Ranch, or Other?
1000 island :D

20. Cheese; Cheddar, Mozzarella, Havarti, Ricotta, Feta, Cottage, Brie, Soy, or Other?
Err, mozzarella.

21. Milk; Regular Soy, Chocolate Soy, 1%, 2%, Skim, or Chocolate?
Chocolate. Well, seeing I'll puke all of it out anyways.

22. Sushi; California Rolls, Spicy Salmon, Crab, Eel, Egg, Octopus, or Other?
Crab, I guess. Seeing I'm not a fan of sushi. But of salmon sashimi!!

23. Sushi; Wasabi, Soysauce, Neither, or Both?
Neither. Eww.

24. **Fastfood** KFC; 2 piece combo, 3 piece combo, Family-Sized combo, or Chicken Club?
3 piece combo would be good enough. Though I would always love to order a family-sized combo :D

25. KFC; Coleslaw, Potato Salad, or Macaroni Salad?
Macaroni salad. Sounds fun!

26. Pop; Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Rootbeer, 7-Up, Orange Crush, Cherry Coke, or Other?
Rootbeer.

27. Burger King, In & Out, McDonald's, Harvey's, Hardee's, White Castle, A&W, or Other?
MCD. A&W is good too

28. Burger Toppings; Lettuce, Tomato, Ketchup, Mayo, Mustard, Mushrooms, Or All Dressed? Err, how about the toppings in a big mac?

29. Fries; Tater Tots, Poutine (if you're Canadian), Cheese Fries, Wedge, or Regular?
Cheese fries.

30. Pie; Apple, Cherry, Lemon, Lime, Blueberry, Sugar, or Other?
Apple

31. Pie; With or Without Ice Cream?
Without. I want hot pie.

32. Dessert; Ice Cream, Frozen Yoghurt, Gelato, or Jello?
Ice cream.

33. Dessert; Cake, Pie, Brownies, Cookies, or Fresh Fruit w. Whipping Cream?
Fruit WITHOUT cream or cake is good.

34. Popcorn; Buttery, Caramel, Strawberry, Or Plain Old Salted?
Caramel

35. **Your home*** House, Condo, Apartment, Trailer, or Other?
Apartment. Though I would love a condo. And I overheard XZ talking about him living in a condo. LOL!

36. Live alone, with Roomies, with Parents, or Other?
Parents

37. Rent or Own? (if you Rent, how much do you pay?)
Mom's paying

38. Neighbourhood you live in; Poor, Middle Class, Wealthy, Artsy, Conservative?
Err, normal?

39. City Centre, Burbs, or Country?
Heartland?

40. Do your area safe?
Pretty much

41. At what age did you move out? If you haven't yet, at what age do you plan to?
Not yet. But probably 21?

42. What was the hardest part about leaving home?
Having to support and bear all the burder

43. Do you and your family still live in the same city or town?
Yep

44. Your room; Messy, a bit Messy, Cleanish, or Meticulously Clean?
Messy

45. **Getting Around**
Okay?

46. Walking, Bicycle, Rollerblades, Bus, Subway, Car, or Commuter Train?
Train + Bus. Or if XZ is being nice, car.

47. If you take public transit, how much is the fare?
$1 for the bus and god knows how much for trains.

48. Tokens, Pass, or Tickets?
EZ link.

49. Commuter Ritual (Coffee? Newspaper? Book?)
Phone

50. Which Bus, Subway, or Train stop is nearest to you?
The bus stop in front of the block in front of me. And YS train stop?

51. Doughnut run; Glazed, Chocolate, Bavarian Cream, Crueller, or Jam Filled?
Jam filled!! Or cookies N creme topped

52. Drivers License; Learners, Drivers or None?
None

53. Do you own your own car? (what kind of car?)
Nioe

54. **School** Home schooled, Private, or Public?
Public

55. Your School; Uniform or No Uniform?
No uniform

56. Your School; Catholic, Jewish, or Secular?
Secular, i think?

57. You; Preppy, Jock, Goth, Punk, Cheerleader, Loner, Nerd, Class Clown, or Other?
Average

58. What year did you Graduate? if you haven't yet, what year will you graduate?
2011

59. Discipline; Excellent Student, Good Student, Okay Student, or Abysmal Student?
Okay student.

60. **Travel** Where have you travelled? (be specific; name specific cities)
No where :((

61. Have you flown before? if so, what's your favourite airline?
Nope

62. Flying Rituals? (book, ipod, sleeping, etc..)
No idea. But I'm guessing, music, sleep and a good company

63. In flight meal; Chicken, Beef, Pasta, Vegetarian/Vegan, Oriental, or Kid's?
Chicken

64. Which class do you usually take; First, Business, or Economy?
Economy, if I ever take one.

65. Have you ever flown First Class? or been Upgraded?
Nope

66. Have you been on a train before? If so, which? (subways don't count)
Then no.

67. Have you been on a ferry before? If so, which?
Yeah. No idea, the really old one. Because I took them when I was really young.

68. Have you been on a cruise before? If so, which?
Nope

69. Do you get motion sick?
Yeah, even from plain LANing

70. Hotel; which sort of room do you usually stay in; Suite, Premium, Regular?
Err, regular

71. Have you travelled on your own before? (alone; that means no friends, no parents)
Nope

72. **At what age did you...** Learn to tie your shoes?
Well, 6?

73. Learn to walk? (if you're unsure, ask your parents)
2?

74. Learn about sex?
8

75. Have your first real kiss?
NO idea.

76. If you're not a virgin; have sex for the first time?
Skip!!

77. If you're married; when?
Nope

78. If you had kids; when?
Nope

79. **Mental and Physical Wellbeing** Are you seeing a shrink?
NOPE

80. Are you on any medications?
Yeah.

81. Birth Control; Condoms, Depo-Provera, the Pill, Vesectomy, or Hysterectomy?
Pill. Or surgery, I guess.

82. Smoke, Drink, Do Illegal Drugs? (if so, which?)
Nope, nope and nope

83. If you smoke; have you any intention of quitting?
I don't... still :D

84. Is your diet Low-fat, Reasonably Low-fat, or High-fat? (be honest)
High-fat

85. Which body type are you; Anorexic, Skinny, Regular, Athletic, Pudgy, or Obese?
Regular. With fat rolls :((

86. Do you follow trend diets such as Low-Carb or Atkins?
Nope

87. **Relationships** Casual, Short-Term, or Long-Term?
Long-term if possible :D

88. Are you an open & honest individual or do you stew in your feelings?
Stew

89. Is your relationship such, that if you wanted to candidly discuss sex , you could?
I'm not too sure yet.

90. How do you cope with breakups? (Häagen-Dazs? A Box of Tissues? Revenge?)
Getting a friend (hopefully a nice hot guy) to help me along

91. Straight, Bi-Curious, Straight-Curious, Lesbian, or Gay?
Straight

92. What kind of guy/girl do you look for; Rebel, Puritan, Brainiac, Athlete, or Other?
Hot, rich, nice, gentlemanly, funny :D

93. **Holidays and Religion** Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzah, or Neither?
Neither

94. Christian, Catholic, Shinto, Buddhist, Wiccan, Qwaker, Agnostic, or Atheist?
Agnostic

95. When you buy presents, are they extravagant, reasonable, or cheapskate?
Reasonable

96. What was the BEST present you've ever received?
IDK.

97. Easter; Cadbury Eggs, Kinder Surprise, Jellybeans, or Peeps?
Kinder surprise

98. Do you take Valentines day seriously? If so, how do you celebrate?
Not really. It depends.

99. Halloween; what is the worst thing you've gotten trick-or-treating?
O.O

100. **Hot topics** Pro-choice or Pro-life?
Choice

101. Pro-gay marriage or against?
Pro

102. If your daughter or son were gay, how would you respond?
Well, you better bring a hot guy back. Regardless of your gender :P

103. If your daughter decided to have an abortion, how would you respond?
You're paying for yourself, hun.

104. Are you generally intolerant of those different from yourself?
It depends.

105. **Blogging** Do you blog? if so, when did you start?
Yeah. 4 or 5 years ago?

106. What kind of blog; picture blog, personal blog, culinary blog, political blog?
Personal

107. How many people on your friend's list?
No idea.

108. **MySpace** What's your MySpace address?
Err, f0rbire, I think?

109. **Chatting** Which do you use; MSN, Yahoo, AIM Messenger, and/or Other?
MSN

110. What is your username?
jlynnie

111. Does webspeak annoy you? (ie. ROFL, LOL, "Peepz", "H8TRZ")
it depends.

112. Do you spend more time chatting than hanging out in real life?
right now, hanging out. but usually, chatting

113. Do you frequent specific chatrooms?
nope

114. **Death** Burial or Cremation?
burial.

115. Funeral; Lavish or Simple? Cremation; Urn or Ashes thrown someplace you loved?
lavish. urn

116. What do you believe happens after death?
Nothing.

117. Have you seen a dead body before (human)?
Yeah

118. How would you ideally like to die?
Painlessly in my sleep :D

XZ~

I was talking with XZ the other day and I just realized how my thoughts had changed.

He was saying how much he liked kids and I was like, NOPE!! I hate them!!

And I even told him that my friends told me that I'll kill the kids if I ever had them.

Then somehow, we talked about marriage.

As someone who wanted to get married, I actually gave up the idea over time.

Gary once said he doesn't want marriage and somehow, I slowly gave up that idea for him. Kinda.

Sigh sigh.

I'm just nineteen. I don't want to talk about marriage.

But sometimes, I wonder...

Who would be the one who would plant the idea of marriage in my head again.

And XZ is so super cute. Like really funnyishly cute. HAHA!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

我創造屬於我的天堂

I'm all confused and happy and this is such a weird mixture of emotions.

No idea where are we now but it's okay. I very much rather to be in this state than in any other.

Although I've always told myself that,

牽手會把女生的心給牽走，所以我不會再輕易的讓別人牽我的手

But, it's so hard for me to deny myself that

其實，我還是很渴望有個溫暖的手握著我的手

It was so funny in the cab today. It really was.

你手的傷還沒好啊？

我的手有受傷嗎？

牽手！

HAHAHAHA!!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm tired

Xiao Hei had been an awesome company for these few days. Where can you find such awesome friends huh?

But sadly, I got this feeling we're not gonna be friends soon. It's a gut feeling.

And most of my gut feelings are sadly, true.

:(

Monday, March 15, 2010

Oh no.

他：你要看電影嗎？
我：我沒空啊。天天做工耶。我勞碌命 :(
他：是哦。想找你約會耶
我：不要在白色情人節開這種玩笑。等下我哭死就有
他：那我等你忘了他再説…

他：抱歉。我暈了
我：你又在喝酒厚
他：沒有啦。還沒喝就暈，喝了不就死了
我：那你幹嗎突然閒暈
他：因爲你不在啊
我：亂講話
他：真心話
我：你很愛開玩笑啊
他：我很認真耶

I'm getting a little scared now. Shit.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

virgin arena trip. NO MORE

I am not wearing stupid heels for at least 2 days. Well, and they could very well be just today and tomorrow.

Honestly, I have blisters and cuts that never seem to heal from heels, but I never had a swollen sole before.

Well, now I do. But I can't blame anyone can I?

Who asked me to wear heels knowing it's Friday AKA loads of running about and standing with virtually no sitting down.

I even foresee myself walking a long long while in the night but yet, I still decided to wear my heels after telling Xiao Hei that I am going to wear boots.

But good thing I wore heels can!!!! He said to go drink initially, but then, in the end, they went to Arena. Idiot not.

Not that I'm not happy. Cause I got to meet Yoyo.

Okay. Getting things straight first. It's not that I want to go Arena or hang out with those guys, but I just want to drink and those are the only drunkards I know. LOL. So I asked them.

But I didn't get to drink. Stupid not.

I'm not going to talk about the rest, cause I'm just going to talk about yoyo. LIKE YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY. :D

So, Sunny was drunk and want to sleep. So he started to sleep on my shoulder. (I know Sunny by face earlier on at workplace already). Then I asked Xiao Hei to save me and he ignored me.

Then I looked at Yoyo and mouthed the words, "SAVE ME" and waved him to come over. Then when he came over, I grabbed his wrists and asked him to change positions with me. Then he walked away with me still hanging on his wrists. So I bobbed behind him. Then he turned around to Sunny and Sunny asked him to come over.

So Sunny was like sleeping on Yoyo's back and I was sitting beside him. Then we were like talking and he was so super cute and shy.

And I swear it's not because he said "你好漂亮" in such a cute and shy tone.

Didn't get to talk a lot with him then. Cause Xiao Hei didn't ate dinner and was drinking like a madman so he's tummy felt bad. Then I asked him to go eat and he told me to accompany him. And so I went.

Leaving Yoyo there. :( with such a cute 爲難 expression and Sunny on his back.

Then came back after Xiao Hei ate and they all want to go eat breakfast already. Then saw Sunny there without Yoyo and I was like :((( NOOOOO!!

But then Sunny suddenly pointed and I saw him. Yay in my heart secretly.

We split into two cabs and Yoyo got into the first one. He was like waving bye to me. And I did to. So cute!!

Then Sunny wanted to take the other cab to go down too and the taxi uncle was being fucky. So Sunny being drunk, kicked the cab... hard.

Then Tony dragged Sunny away. Tony seemed to be the 老大 of the TW people. Because he was the one sitting outside waiting for all the people he know to go home safely.

Wow to such people.

Ahem, so yeah. Cabbed down.

Then the taxi uncle don't know where the 永和豆漿 place is and let us down at lorong 9.

So when we met up with Yoyo who took the earlier cab, he was like telling me that he waved to me when he was leaving in his cab. And I told him I did wave back and asked if he didn't see it.

So we walked, yes, WALKED, yes me, WALKED to lorong 27.

Yoyo was nice to walk with me. He even noticed my heels and said it must be horrible to walk in those.

And because of the new heels with swollen sole, my feet were like screaming in total agony. So with a little uneven path, I will tend to get unsteady. But of course, I did a good job in pretending that I can walk perfectly fine.

Except for one part. My legs literally wobbled and of course, I pushed the blame on the rocky roads. Then I skipped up to the upper pavement and was walking on it. So Yoyo was on my left on the road.

So when I was walking, Yoyo was like super nice and pushing chairs that's on my right, away from me.

Of course I appreciate it. My feet were hurting so much that I don't think I can 'siam' from those chairs. Though those chairs are not even technically so close to me that I have to 'siam' from them.

And he was like constantly telling me that it's okay and I don't have to walk so fast to catch up with them. We can walk slower and stuff.

Then we were like talking about how much I hate walking and he even volunteered to carry me.

So reached there and he asked me what I want to eat. I was looking at him and was like panting. Then he was like, "OMG. Okay okay, you rest first."

When the food came, he was like saying, "You didn't drink at all right? So let's 乾杯 now."

Then Xiao Hei really knock the glasses so hard that the 豆漿 got knocked out of his cup. Then everyone was like laughing at him and was saying that's what he does when he drinks.

Sunny was like even saying, "Later the one sitting behind you will be saying, ‘夠了厚。不要在灑了哦’" Super funny lah.

Then we ate. When I was complaining that it's so hard to 'kiap' the 燒餅, Yoyo was so kind to help me move away the whatever shit. By that, I mean food.

And he tried to include me into the conversation but I was like... NOOOOO!! Please no.

They said quite a few jokes, inclusive of racists ones.

Like 蔥油餅 VS 煎餅. And 拉茶 VS 珍珠奶茶.

So when we were about to go, Xiao Hei was the one to send me home. Super disappointed. I want Yoyo lor.

But Yoyo was so cute when he waved. Then when he got into another cab, while I was still sitting in the cab waiting for Xiao Hei, Yoyo looked into my cab and mouthed bye bye to me again. And I waved. So cute!!

Then Xiao Hei was on the cab with me and said how 熱情 TW people are. Will send girls home and will help me through when I fell out of love.

I was like, OUCH Xiao Hei. Stop saying that, OUCH!! ... Of course, I didn't tell him that. I only told him how mean Xiao Xiong is.

Then I fell asleep.

I think it was a very light sleep. Cause it's like I know what's going on around me but yet, I was sleeping.

So when Xiao Hei tapped me on my arm, I could wake up. Then I was like telling how the uncle to go for a little while, I plopped back onto my lap to sleep. So Xiao Hei asked me to go back to sleep and will wake me up when I reach.

And I did. So the next time I woke up, I was like madly waving my arms about trying to get up. So Xiao Hei pushed me up. And I told the uncle a bit more how to go and I fell back to sleep on the chair rest of the uncle's chair.

Then I felt his hand on the back of my neck waking me up. Like giving slight pressure to wake me up. The first thought I had was Gary and I was like NOO!! and woke up. Then I realized the uncle drove past where I wanted him to stop and quickly ask him to stop.

And so I went home. Safely.

Sigh, honestly, Yoyo is such an awesome guy.

He'll be an awesome best boy friend, never a best boyfriend. Because he's so nice to every girl, so he will technically be the worst boyfriend ever.

Sigh. Just falling out of love turns me such a judgmental person on guys as boyfriends. No matter do I like them or not, I start to judge them.

Yeah, if you're wondering, my MSN personal message, "be my best boy friend and not my best boyfriend. unless you can be sure to be my only boy ♥" is about Yoyo.

HAHAAHAHAHHAHAH!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

謝謝

As what Jo said, I really looked like crap the first day the breakup happened and I'm so much better now.

I think there really must be some sort of God up there, overlooking me. And God, if you listening or reading this right now, please please please give Gary the awesome people you've put in my life to help me through this phase of life. He must be feeling way worse than I am so please, help him through.

(I'm still not a Christian/Catholic whatsoever. I don't think I ever will be one again though.)

Really. I think what Gary said is right. I do have a lot of awesome people around me and I just have to open my eyes and appreciate them.

Thank you Ment for making me laugh when I really can't (he's technically the first one to know I broke up, even before I knew it. Haha.), gives me thumps on the back and friendly hugs to cheer me up.

Thank you April for asking me to go LAN once she saw the breakup FB stuff. I'm working everyday to not have the time to go LAN. And work is mostly boring but with little awesome snippets throughout the day so I don't really want to miss work. But I have a few people (Taiwanese horr!!) that I ask to go drink with me but have TOTALLY no idea who they are, so come protect me kay? :D

Thank you Wei Yi for SMSing me right in the morning when he saw the FB stuff too. And ebuddy me telling me not to do anything stupid. And asking how my eyes were. And talked consecutively to me for days (I deem them as concern too!!) and coming down to where I work.

Thank you Yanni for being there for me. While promising me to 'look after' me virtually, not letting me to do anything dumb.

Thank you Jo for trying to cheer me up and tell Xiao Xiong not to bully me because I just got dumped. And talking with Wei Yi, checking up on me with him. (Though she said Gary was a bad person for whatever happens. But don't think that way. Gary is a great guy and please don't think he's the bad guy in this story. Yeah, he was the one who initiated the breakup but I was the cause of it. So he isn't the bad guy this time.)

...

Though he was the one who was 曖昧ing with other girls... in my opinion. But he has his explanation so let's leave this side of the story aside first.

Thank you Wendy for telling me not to emo.

Thank you Xiao Xiong for saying "可憐哦，眼睛都哭腫了". It makes me feel like I actually still do exist. That people still can see me and shower me with little bits of concern. But he turned around and bullied me straight after that though. -.-

Thank you Xiao Hei for hanging around me after he knew I got dumped. And promised to go drinking with me. Though I think the plan is going to get aborted. His friends (the Taiwanese bunch) asked him to go drink tomorrow at 9pm. How am I supposed to go? I'm working!! Anyways, he actually replied my texts, accompanied me through this rough patch and asked me to take care of myself. Now guess how old he is. He's the youngest of the bunch, kay. Wayyy younger than me and he already knew how to 安慰人了.

I know there are some more people on Facebook commenting on my relationship status change and if it's something that's trying to cheer me up, then thank you. If you're trying to laugh in my face then go away!!

Thank you everyone. I'm trying to get better and I think I already am way better than yesterday. I was folding hearts throughout the day thinking about him. But I didn't fold one heart today.

Though that doesn't mean I'm over him, but at least it means that I'm making progress.

Thank you guys for helping me through.

And please, higher upper power being, if you send such awesome people down to me to heal my soul and heart, please send equally awesome or more awesome people to Gary to heal him too.

I know you've sent Angela, Uriah, Min-Er, Xin Yi... please send him more and more awesome people to make him feel happy. To make him feel filled up and alive again.

Just like how random people whom I've no idea who they are (Xiao Hei is someone who literally bo-chap me when he comes to pool until I told him I wanna drink out of the blue) and could make me feel so much better...

Please send random people who can heal him to him too.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

His hair. OMG, his hair!

The fourth morning now. I think I am getting better.

Not better as in better per se, but trying my very mean way of getting better.

I'm trying to sap the things that Gary once did for me from everyone around me.

SMSes and concerns before I sleep and the minute I wake up, people to talk to during work, someone who asks me how's my day, concerned about my day, ... blah blah blah.

I know it's different. Way different. And way cruel and unfair too (to them), but I really don't know how to handle this.

All my previous breakups was so easy. I didn't even have to get over it, life didn't seem to change. But not this time... but then again, what can I do?

And you know what's the scary thing. I've been always talking about xiao hei here, xiao hei there. And I just realized one thing, one scary thing.

I never paid much attention to it because he styles his hair in this way that I find it relate-able but not too farmiliar. Until one day where he comes in with his hair unstyled.

It was then when I realized whose hair his resembled.

It was blond, with slight black roots. Longish hair for a guy... getting a picture?

Sigh sigh. But his face looks completely different.

OMG. I'm running late. I'm going to get a crossword book and my heels today.

I really don't wanna get those shoes. The shoes we ordered together but this time, I'm the only one taking it by myself.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Love... is a wish your heart makes

Yeah. My relationship with him is over. I really don't want it to end, I really don't and I want to be selfish, but I guess I'm just not able to.

The only thing I can do now is to try and mend his heart as a friend, in my own little ways, while hoping this time, it wouldn't break it even more, and pass his heart to another girl. Another girl who knows how to appreciate him.

It might sound dumb, it might sound completely unlike me, but I really don't know how to live now.

I guess, this is what I've always been doing. Taking and taking from him and never giving back.

I really want to be there for him, I always tried to. There were times where I just didn't want to sleep but there was times where I stayed up just to talk to him. I stayed up just to listen to him, not wanting to go off.

When he's sad, when he's angry with his friends, I tried to be there for him.

I thought that was it. But I forgot, there was still me in the picture.

I forgot that he could get mad at me, get sad over me.

I never realized he was sad because of the things I've done. Just like how he don't know, I don't know.

I just want a chance to make this up for him. I want to take away the pain that I gave him and replace it with warm, soothing touches.

But it's too late. He can't even love me anymore. No matter how much I can love him, I can change for him now, it's too late.

How I wish, if there is a way, to take back the heart I ripped it out from myself and gave it to him and his back to himself, so he would feel so much better.

I wanted so much to be selfish, I DON'T WANT TO BE MAGNANIMOUS AND LET HIM GO!! But... Nothing matters now. He has made his decision and nothing I can do to change it.

I just hope that we can still be happy being friends. I still need him, no matter does he need me or not.

But I have no rights to need him anymore. I have none anymore. I'm a nobody to him now. I can no longer enjoy the concern he used to give me...

And he will no longer know how much I love him. How much I need him. How much I'm prepared to change for him.

He might be glad to get rid of me, someone who does nothing but break his heart...

But I know, I'm still always hoping for that small glimpse of hope that he would still be able to love me. Still be able to love me.

:'(

Just saw Chord on TV 5 minutes ago. Reminded me of the email I sent him earlier this afternoon.

Woke up really early today. Had a really awkward dream and woke up to Mom rummaging through my bag (she found Yasmin... yeap, now's the time to say AWKWAAARRRRRD) and I pretended to be asleep.

Then went onto MSN and saw Chord online. A few minutes later, he changed his MSN status to his new song which he just uploaded.

Click on it and listened to it and woah, was it good.

So good that I can't help but send him a mail.

Mope around the house for a little while and the one of the two good things that happened today:

I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE PUFFY SINGLE EYELIDS TO LARGER DOUBLE EYELIDS.

Only one of the two good things that happened today.

Yep, that's one of the only two good thing that happened today.

Don't felt like having any humanly presence around me and took a cab down instead. Reached Kpool quite early-ish and went over to the Kbox and took green tea from them.

Moped around and made a few mistakes initially. Then had MCD and felt a little better.

Cheng Xu wanted to take my fries and I told him that I'm not close to him so he can't take from me. His eyes literally went O.O while he was drinking, so my first action was to scream at him not to puke his drink out. Then he giggled and literally almost puked it out.

To think I actually thought Cheng Xu was a stuck up person at first. Turns out he's quite an okay person.

But they asked me to smoke with them. -.- Siao!

Then at 6 plus, I felt so miserable that I literally couldn't smile anymore. It's like, there are times where you can force one out, even a painful one, but there are times where you literally can't smile.

Was still serving and trying to work, then Jo suddenly looked at me and she suddenly asked,

"Are you okay?"

Tears were like filled up all the way to the brim inside my eyes, though not one drop spilled out. No way I'm going to cry outside.

Work has always been an escape for me.

Now, I just want to escape from work.

Sigh, HOW?!!!

Then Ment came. He accompanied me for an hour plus and tried to make me laugh. Not that it help, but at least, that took my mind of my emptiness.

I did the magic trick that the TWese guy did yesterday to both Jo and Ment.

Then Sky came and somehow, I'm glad he's there. Never talked to me, and I don't like him but somehow, I was glad there was someone else there.

Then Joyce came and after counting my shift, then I went off.

But for once, I don't wanna go home. I just want to keep on doing something.

Walked past Cine and smelled nicotine. And for once, it somehow felt pleasant.

Sigh. I'm scaring myself now.

I shall go find something else to do. I have to. Sigh.

Monday, March 8, 2010

never would i thought that it would be this painful

It's too late now, isn't it? It's too late now, right?

Too late to tell him that I love him.
Too late to tell him that I still wanna stay together.
Too late to tell him that I'll open up

...

Too late to tell him that I'm sorry, right?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

我猜他才17嵗

小熊：我今年20
我：1989年的女生啊
小熊：不用啦！可以介紹年紀小一點的女生
我：好！我介紹給你12嵗的女生
小熊：也不用這麽小
小熊：你要我，小妹妹，大哥哥買棒棒糖給你好不好？
我：好！不然8嵗？
小熊：哇！這個是，小妹妹，大哥哥買奶嘴給你，好不好？
我：你這個變態！逼小妹妹吃你的棒棒糖和奶嘴！變態！！

… 以上是大概當時的對話

大概！！

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

decent lunch

Just a short post before I go poop.

There are times where I love people to take what I write literally, but at others, no.

I never learned how to write properly in English (literature style at least). So I don't know how to write short stories, proses, poems whatsoever shit not.

The only things I've learned about Literature is in Chinese.

Therefore, the things I write has some of its 'techniques' based on the stuff I've learned in Chinese Literature.

So, the things I write, unless you really know what I'm writing, if not, please don't make wild assumptions.

Chinese Literature can be pretty straightforward to understand, but then again, it is not.

Because it is not just understanding what the words mean. It is never about just understanding what the words mean.

And you know why I'm writing this?

Because there are simply TOO MANY PEOPLE misunderstanding me from what I write.

If you don't know then don't assume or guess what I'm trying to say. Cause you're probably wrong anyways (:

P/s: Ironically, when I think of modern poems (chinese ones of course), I remember the ones which Jian Wei recited better than the one I did. Cause I loved his poem to pieces!! I like how Wen Yi Duo uses something so beautiful to describe something so ugly. Yeah, he was talking about the society at that time, guess using what? Just a puddle of old water, that's all. A little pond, maybe.

But I'm still very proud of my poem. It's talking about boring love and equality between the two genders (no trannies, I'm sorry) but I got the highest in the class can. Everyone gave me the highest score. Even those China students. WHOO!!

Though I can never recite it properly again. I think I can if I want to. Cause we all went through one-to-one speech training just to learn how to recite. It's not just reading with emotions.

Complicated shit.

But I like reading modern poems. It's so... so... enlightening and beautiful.

Though fucking difficult to understand at times. I literally had to research on them to know what the hell are they trying to say. LOL!

OMG. I don't feel like pooping anymore. Tsk!

And it's 5am now. Should I sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow just to go meet senior.

He siao one lor. I ask him come down to where I work to accompany me cause I get bored in the evening when all the regulars and Jo goes home.

Then he's meeting his friend at 12 in Somerset/Orchard. And I start work at 3!!

GRR!!!

But for once, maybe I'll have a decent lunch this time :DD

boy meets girl. who's the boy? who's the girl?

Have you ever watch dramas (or mangas) that has a similar type of scenario that goes like this:

Boy meets girl.
Boy loves girl.
Girl loves boy.
Girl is super nice to the boy (ma-chiam wife material liddat)
Boy leaves girl for slutty girl
Boy and slutty girl fucks
Boy and slutty girl breaks after two months

And that's when you go

"See lah. Should have stayed with the wife-material-girl, right? If it's me, I'll choose that girl, CONFIRM!"

But that never happens in reality.

What most probably going to happen in reality is:

Boy meets girl.
Boy loves girl.
Girl loves boy.
Girl is super nice to the boy but never wants to get married (therefore cannot be wife material lah)
Boy meets slutty girl.
Boy fucks slutty girl.
Boy leaves girl who doesn't want to get married.
Boy breaks with slutty girl in two months.

Remember the saying that goes, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"?

Well, that's bullshit. Cause in the harsh reality, there's no cake to begin with.

Oh OH!! I got another scenario.

Whoo! I'm on a ride.

Okay okay, here goes:

Boy meet girl.
Boy loves girl.
Girl loves boy.
Boy is being super nice to the girl.
Girl is being super nice to the boy.
Boy is being nice to the girls.
Girl is being super nice to the boys.
Boy gets jealous.
Girl gets jealous.
Boy breaks with girl.

Or another one?

Boy meet girl.
Boy loves girl.
Girl loves boy.
Boy loves girls.
Girl goes out to love more boys.
Boy fucks girls.
Girl flirts with boys.
...
Hmmmm. so how should I end this?

Hmm, I don't know. I can't think. Cause I got to poop! Bye for now!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Two lines out of this entire passage are something that I always want to say for a long long time

Sometimes, I really wish that I do not see
This reality that makes me wanna flee
The pain that surges through my heart
Crimson aflowing makes it seem like art

I don't think I can ever understand
Even when it reaches the end
Thoughts running through my mind
Cold droplets of disappointment drips while i dine

Longing for you, as I pine
Telling myself that I would be fine
Imaging your fingers entwined with mine
But it just exists only in my mind

Knowing that one day we'll be apart
Where we go back right to the start
What is this feeling, I ask me
But it's too late now for my heart has given you the key

Can your eyes only look at me
Possible, could that be
I don't wanna make this sound like a plea
But please don't deem my feelings as something that's free

Flowers bloom as you smile
Butterflies flutter around you all this while
As this unattractive blade of grass
Could only wear a sad smile as she feels her heart cut by glass

Silence, as she maintains
As numbness overcomes the pain
Standing alone in the rain
Where she hopes the hurt could be washed down the drain

How she wish she could talk
But a mouth she was given has a lock
By who, she pretends not to know
But inside, she knows it is herself that is holding her so

A tug-of-war tearing her up on the inside
To talk or not, how can she decide
Standing tall, only supported by her pride
It's not that she can be that strong, she sighed

She doesn't know what is wrong
Trying to find how she feels in a song
But none of the lyrics feel as strong
As the emotions that she felt all along

As these words come to an end
Back to reality, where she can only pretend
Is there a way for this to mend
Between her own childish thoughts and her boyfriend

21 questions

1. Are You In A Relationship?
Yep

2. What Is His/Her Name?
Gary... Teo Qin Hui (To be honest... I forgot how to write his chinese name. I still remembered in on Week 15 of of my Music Compo class, but I suddenly forgot. Haha, how I know I remembered it is because sometimes, when I don't have class, I'll doodle his chinese name. HAHA!!)

3. What Is Your Date?
What is my date? What do you mean?

4. How Long Have Yall Been Together?
Since January last year?

5. Do You Consider Your A Spouse A Good Partner?
Quite

6. Are You A Good Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Nope

7. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Favorite Color?
Electric (closest color I can get from the limited blogger's color palette)

8. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Favorite Cereal?
The ones that's always on his oven :D

9. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Favorite Drink?
Blue Coral Soda

10. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Eye Color?
Black.

11. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Shoe Size?
O.O I actually have a faint memory that we talked about his shoe size before. But I suddenly can't remember anymore

12. What`s Does Boyfriend/Girlfriend Prefer Silver or Gold?
I'm guessing sliver.

13. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Birthday?
What? You mean when? In 19 more days!! OMG! In 19 more days!!

14. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Favorite Food?
Teriyaki chicken, pork, his mom's cooking. I think I'm close.

15. What`s Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Favorite Current Song?
I'm stumped

16. What`s The First Song You Dedicated To Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Huh?

17. What Attracts You The Most Of Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
His personality?

18. Describe Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend In One Word?
MINE!!

19. Has Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Ever Hurt You?
:(

20. Do You Honestly Love Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
:) Yep

21. You Think Him/Her Will Repost This Survey ?
Nope :D

nice nice people

Wow. For once, work was good. Not too bad. Not as bad as I anticipated.

And I really have super nice regulars. Damn. Am so going to miss them after I leave this place.

Not going to talk about them now.

Worked with Joycelyn today. It's so weird. Joycelyn working with Joycelyn. Whee!!

She's a nice person. And surprisingly, we didn't like the same person too. And have quite the same encounters. Am happy about that fact.

And she said she's asking the girls to go clubbing on Weds and ask if I want to go.

Hmmmmmm :DD

No one wants to go clubbing with me anyways, so... should I? :PP

Anyways, thought I would be damn bored today cause two of the regulars said that they won't be coming.

But when the others came in, I was like YAYY!!!!

Oh yes, did I mention the regulars. They are like super nice.

Okay, maybe they didn't know me when I started work for the first few days so they weren't nice to met yet but they're awesome now :D

Won't say what happened, but they're nice people. They are!! :D