Me & You, Forever ♥

Friday, May 28, 2010

hungry

TMD. I can feel the flu bug. Scratchy throat and running nose. Oh fuck.

And I'm not going to sleep tonight. Am going to stay awake till 9am and order Mac Delivery. Then it's going to be a crazy day tomorrow. Total madness.

I can feel my insides dying slowly already. Arghs!!

Martel

I knew it. He was drunk. Finally made him go to bed.

Now, time to really do my RJ.

work work work

EEEE. 笨老公 still not home yet.

Stupid or not. No more breakfast tomorrow. Confirm!! I actually really wanted Mackers breakfast. How how? Should I wake up before 11 just to go eat?

Okay. He just came home. I suspect he's drunk. Either that or he is feeling darn sick. Or hungry.

And he's clever. He knows I'll always oversleep. So instead of telling me it's 1pm, he's telling me it's 12pm.

WTFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

Speaking of oversleeping, I've almost been late for the entire week. Been cabbing and that sucked!!

Supposed to reach school by 945 for CME class and I went out of my home at 925. Supposed to reach school by 1200 for Sound for Media today but only went out of my house at 1145.

So so sucky. And daddy is not driving me anymore. Cab money is killing me. Period.

But how weird does it feel that 100km/hr on short distances felt so slow but 80km/hr on flyovers feel so fast. Seriously.

I think their speed meters are rigged.

*squints* I be kidding.

Okay. It's almost 4am. Better do my RJ NOW!! Then shower and sleep. Got to wake up at like... 11am. Sucky times two.

Speaking of which, I was so tired on Weds cause I was awake till 7am writing reports that when I was sleeping in the afternoon with H, I kept him awake with my snoring. Funny max!! Poor him. He was so so tired.

Okay. RJ time now. NOW!!

And this stupid boy is only home at 3 plus in the morning. And sounds as if he's drunk. Is he trying to piss me off... again?

Especially when I push off all my work for him. I'm shaking head at this boy now.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

On a steeeeeeeck.

A lot of things are happening lately and I almost thought I am going to die. But I still got through. YAY!!!

Will do a proper entry one of these days about what exactly has been going on with me. When I find the time after finishing reports after reports.

Anyways, had a really special surprise from my 笨老公 today.

Initially didn't want to invite him for coffee today at all but he suddenly became so weird last night. So I asked him out for a little while for coffee today.

Went to NAFA TCC directly after school. Asked H to go there directly. Didn't bother to go up first anyways. Loved the cafe to the max.

I was alone for the first 15 minutes and I had the best chillax time in AGES.

Lazing there sipping oreo mocha and flipping through CLEO and playing soft music. Best chillax or what.

Then H came and he wanted to sit with me. Stupid boy. Then he started to lie on my arms. Double stupid boy.

Damn uncomfy. And he was complaining that he was freaking tired and I asked him to go home first. I wanted to chill. Period.

Then he gave me the look and I asked for bill. Sigh. I suck.

Then went home and we had a little small talk. It was good. But nothing can change the fucking awful conversation last night at 5 in the morning.

FIVE IN THE MORNING. Sucky way to go to bed. Seriously.

But remember the little surprise I mentioned earlier:

I can has a stick.

You know a stick?

A hard stick.

Surprise surprise.

笨老公

See the little white piece of paper in this stick.

You're not going to see it.

Monday, May 24, 2010

色員外s

OMG OMG OMG!!!

I only just recalled about this. I found it so funny and was laughing at it as it suddenly pops into my head.

H and I were talking about 色員外s (please don't ask me how we talked till that point, I really have no idea) then he did this kiss, the kind where he presses onto the lips then lets go with a huge muahhhh kind. Then he was saying that all the 色員外s are like this. Contented with just one huge kiss. Kinda true isn't it? All the 色員外s in those old pok movies always chase the 丫頭 around just to only kiss them.

Then we were talking on how to reply my mom's "where is home" and we were talking and kidding about. I have no idea how does he make me laugh while I should be stressed out thinking of a reply.

I was asking if he was trying to kill me and he did this index finger wave in the air. I was like "WTF" and he said it means "You've got it." I laughed and said something else. Then he did the thumb point towards himself and I asked if it's "I've got it". And he was like "You've got it" Yes, I can get tickled by things like this. I suck.

And we were talking about something else, then he pointed his index finger and thumb to each of us and we two said at the same time, "We both got it".

I think we do retarded things when we're bored.

OH OH!! Back to the 色員外s.

H was also saying, "色員外s 每次都這親了一下之後就超開心的. 色員外s：Yes, I've got it"

LOL max. I have no idea how to put it across in a funny way but who cares? I just have to find it funny, that's all it matters.

Anyways, then at another point of the night just before we went out for our crazy huge supper, he was lying on my leg and I was semi-sitting/lying on the pillow that's propped up against the wall.

So he was pointing his finger on his lips hinting me. If I was sitting straight, I would be able to bend down easily. But I was sitting in this slanted position and that's why I can't.

Then he just grab my head and gently pull my head down. Then we just had one small peck on the lips and I went back to my slanted lying position.

I was complaining to him that it's difficult for me to bend over in my position and pretended as it was a very tiring task, and started to pant as if I just finished running.

So he said, "Later the two of us goes out of the room panting and everyone else asked us what were we doing in the room. And we'll answer, we were just kissing. And it was just one kiss. It's a feat by it's own"

I was laughing and agreeing.

Yeah. I'm not sure how many people have I turned away by writing this post. I don't like my posts being filled with love stuff anyways. But it's my life. And I think it's funny. So sue me.

Anyways, RJ submission is in an hour's time. BYE!! RJ time!

XM, not to be confused with XMM

Called H and Xiao Mai was there at that time. Then had this very brief conversation with XM.

黑：小麥問你說他好不好看
我：我不記得他的臉耶… 不要這樣告訴他！
黑：她說她忘了你的臉
我：欸！！！我說了不要跟他講啊！
黑：那我問他你漂不漂亮
我：還是不要！不要問！喂！
麥：我也忘了他的臉了
我：黑，那你幫我跟麥說，說他超帥頭髮超屌的
麥：哈！她也超正身材超好的

呵呵呵呵！！

就北7一族嘛！

Sunday, May 23, 2010

數到五答應我

All I ask for is a boy who can sing to me 數到五答應我 and mean every single word from it.

still a lot more, but it just can't fit in

I'm back and finally woken up.

Okay, maybe not finally. Because I only slept for 9 hours. That's all. Hardly an achievement. Plus, I woke up tons in between. Yeah, so what achievement?

So let's see what happened this 2 days where I am miraculously can't be found online. Which I don't think anyone would even bother about it... because no one cares about me. Boo hoo. Ah well.

Friday. Instrumental design. Was almost late. But wasn't. But I skipped class. If I was late, then I wouldn't even bother to skip class. Cause... it'll be a maximum C if I do my RJ. But if I wasn't late and I skipped, it'll be a C with the same RJ.

So I skipped. Told H but he was sleeping then. Then went online and saw Jo. She said she was bored and so I went down to look for her.

Was really bored there and got Hooch. Tastes... horrible. But I finished it all nonetheless.

Then took a cab down to H's house. Did my mandatory check on Facebook, twitter as well as XX (Xiaxue's this time round, not Xiao Xiong)'s clicknetwork.tv and then, H came to my side then sighed and went into his room.

We have this cycle every single time I go over to his house.

I do my stuff, he gets pissed, he goes into his room/find someone else and one of us has to give in.

So I gave in and went into his room. He was all huddled up in his covers and I didn't bother to go and unpeeled all that blankets around him. So I just went onto ebuddy with my phone. He then climbed out of that cocoon and then we sort of am okay with each other.

Compromise, as I call it. I would go and look for him but he has to come out of that cocoon of blankets too... and talk to me first.

And so... I think we slept. Two of us were damn tired. I talked with him till 5 plus in the morning and went to bed. And he went out. When I woke up at 830 in the morning, he only just got home and was going to sleep.

The two of us were so sleep deprived, we literally fell asleep on the comforters on the floor.

I can't remember if we both climbed onto the bed. All I know is that both of us was dead tired.

So woke up and went to watch Shrek. It was boring. But at least it was short. Yeah, typical happy movie. Morale of the movie? Treasure your love.

Then those people wanted to go Arena. So, went grudgingly with them.

The bouncer wanted to check my ID. I think I was really happy. I mean, check my ID? I am happy.

Then let H play for awhile. Then went home.

We fell asleep after just some short talk. Woke up at 7 because H woke up. He was feeling really bad and I tried to ask him what's wrong. But he couldn't really speak and I kept falling back to sleep.

Finally tried to properly see what's wrong with him and then he seemed to feel a little better after a long while then we fell back to sleep. Woke up and went back to sleep until 3 ish 4.

He went to shower and I went back to laze in bed. Talked until Ran's godmother brought food over. Yum! Ate and went back to talk with him. Then he realized he had Show's concert today.

I was telling him that he can go to the concert and I could go home. Seeing that I haven't been home for a day already.

He was like, it's okay. It's okay. But it was so obvious that he didn't know if he should stay in or go to the concert.

Eventually, Ran's took his ticket. But I had to help him to finish his work. I did one of it in less than twenty minutes. He was showering and dressing up, and before he went out, I already finished it for him.

The other one, I didn't finish it because H wasn't happy. He did the went-into-the-room thing again. Sigh. I'm such a sucker whenever he does that.

I login to my facebook on his laptop before I went out of his room. Because I wanted to check for notifications. But I haven't got the chance to use it. Then, when I went into his room, I saw him on that page, doing something. Not sure what because he went to another page soon after. Damn.

Daddy did call once during that time. And I was listening to it and H was like, patting my head. Guess why. Yeah, I got a scolding. Duh. But after hanging up, I told him that wasn't the once, and he did saw what's worse than that later on.

Then talked a bit more until Ran came home. After talking to him for quite some time, Ran said that he's going to go clubbing. So talked a bit more with H before deciding that we were hungry.

Told him if we're going to go out and eat, I want to take a shower first. So took one around 230ish. Reached the eatery around 3 plus. Both of us were starving!!

Ate super loads for supper though. We got 魯肉飯，炸雞肉，蔡卜蛋 & 豬肉丸Udon. Then I got this red bean something something. It IS awesome!! Only the thingy that is awesome in my opinion.

The rice was too sticky. The chicken was too dry. The egg was too salty. The udon was too sour. Oh man!! Argh! Spent thirty, forty bucks on this. Money wasted max!

So, went home around 4. Sang with youtube for a little while and I told him I'm max tired. Asked him to let me sleep till 5 before going home.

Both of us was in this filthy mood because we were too tired.

Then around 5, I finally climbed out of bed. Went down to help PY transfer the money. It just fucking can't transfer. I have no idea why and how.

Things got a little ugly after that and I'm not going to say much.

H really has a bad temper when he's mad. I didn't know he actually told PY to stop bothering me with all these. I wasn't even bothered in the first place.

And was surprised he actually told her what he told me. I mean, I thought there is still some social courtesy that you don't say everything out to another person. Respect, as to what I'll say.

He was pissed off by her attitude and she didn't mean it.

This I can see very well. Sigh.

Anyways, I was actually too tired to help the two of them and went to sleep actually.

*guilty frown*

Sigh. I really don't know what's going to go on from this.

Plus... things are not going to be pretty on my side either. Fuckers!!

Friday, May 21, 2010

truu truu

Three consecutive days of calls plus webcam today.

LOL.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

EEE

Sitting in front of the TV sipping Genami Green Tea and licking my lips that tastes like Bee Bee is awesome. But I feel so fat. So damn fat now.

I ate like 15 small pieces of sausages, 3 pieces of bread sandwiches, a pack of dark chocolate M&Ms and an entire cup of Bee Bee. Seriously, so damn full and bloated now.

And poor. I spent $30 on a school day. And I didn't even go out. How did it happened?

Anyways, I realized I would only feel like blogging about unhappy things. Which suck. I should also write things that make me happy right?

But let me get the angry stuff out of me first.

H is seriously annoying. Alright, at least he tries to hide it from me but it doesn't work.

I mean, it's okay if you want to SMS each other in front of me. But make it a little less obvious can?

Tun Wei and Hei, each was on my right and left. Then H mouthed to Wei and then H started to take out his phone. Then W took out his and replied. Then H phone rang. Then H replied and W took out his phone.

HOW SUBTLE CAN THIS BE?

I mean, I am seeing the humor in this already.

Anyways, they just went to Supperclub and that stupid boy still tried to lie to me that he's home. And calling me outside the club doesn't help.

I mean, my ears are almost fried for an audio student but I still can hear. I recognize EDM when I hear one. I mean, EDM-club music. Who can I blame?

Oh!! Did I mention? I'm super proud of the fact that I am able to hear and know what style a music is.

Stupid awesome senior sent me one of his mashup and I was saying the beats in the first few seconds sounds quite china-ish and he said it was a china team who remixed that song. AWESOME OR WHAT?

Anyways, it was so funny today. I texted both April and Randal and called them asking them where are we supposed to have our lesson today. And both of them didn't reply me. So when they came, I told them to 跪下來 and both of them did.

I was laughing my ass off.

And today, when NK accidentally kicked my screen and he just looked at me with his knees bent, seemingly as if he wants to kneel too.

Super kneel-ish day today. LOVES!

Anyways, H called me just now. He suddenly hung up after saying some, then don't contact lor (I don't even know how we ended up like that) but I'm not going to ring him back.

I mean, if he expects me to do so, I'm not going to. Just to spite him.

Okay. Just woke up.

Sent a text over.

Feel super nauseous now. FML.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

MSN

Didn't bothered to talk to parents tonight.

Was so worried just now.

You tell me scary or not?!!

And please. Don't add his MSN, kay?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Revenge is a bitch. And it shouldn't be happening here

I'm a nice person on most days. But I do get pissed if things don't go my way.

And seeing how things aren't going my way, a tit for tat. I don't care who you are to me, since you made my life unhappy, I'll make yours unhappy.

You shouldn't have asked me to help you. You shouldn't show me your something that I can use against you.

I hope we talk about this in the night.

And the minute you say I'm too young, I'm just going to say

"Yeah. I'm too young to travel. But old enough to help in your betting. Yeah."

I wanna see how Mom gets angry at me and Dad.

Cause Mom. You shouldn't have used Dad as a shield. So I'm sorry Daddy. Since Mommy thought you can help her, maybe I should just show her you aren't that dependable after all.

LOL dream

Almost woke up kicking and screaming today. Was such a nightmare. Seriously.

I dreamed that I broke up with H and got back together with G. It was a dream that I once wished it was true 2 or 3 months ago but it was such a nightmare right now.

In my dream, I was trying to contact H but he is not replying to my smses. And Gary was talking to me and I didn't want to reply him.

Then got onto MSN and H replied quite illogically.

So scared during the dream. Am glad I finally woke up.

But the sore throat that woke me suck. It hurts.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

眼裏還有沒有你父母啊

Was outside on Friday night/Saturday morning and Mom sent a text over.

One of the text was asking that if 我眼裏還有父母嗎

And was asking H to help me think of ways to answer them

So here's the some of the stuff he came up with:

你們在我心裏，是我永遠的父母，我永遠愛你們
那你們眼裏有沒有我這個女兒
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
Fuck you

I thought it was funny at the point where we were grueling thinking of how to answer her while coming up with absurd answers.

Friday, May 14, 2010

More random updates from the sofa

Saw Philbert at school today. Totally didn't know he's from our school. And guess what is he doing in school? Playing pool! Idiot much, not?

I mean, if he comes to kpool and pool, it's all right and stuff, cause that's what you do there. But, he comes to school and pool during breaks? WTFFF?

Anyways, was so tired in class today. Slept for a good 15 minutes on my laptop. Yay for not drooling. I don't think my laptop would handle any form of moisture very well after it decides to bluescreen at the start of this week.

I'm still very worried for it. Seeing how it crashes today and I had to go into the black page asking me if I want to start my computer safe or normally. LOL!

When I wake up, I turned and saw Ng Ting Hsiang in class. I was like O.O and immediately woke up. Not a good thing to get found out by him that I'm sleeping eh. How come no one woke me up. :(((((

random updates on the sofa

I wonder if I would be going back to class today. I totally had no mood in going back there. And both April and Randal are playing the piano now. I wonder if they are going to play the piano and not go back to class. I sure hope so.

But I have no idea where to go if I don't go to class either.

Seeing the fact that I really don't want to see H so early. It has already come to this point where I would rather choose not to see him for now. No point eh? We'll either have our little tiffs or where I'll be angry with him but yet not being able to do anything.

What I don't see doesn't exist. That's what I think.

So I really don't want to know what he's doing. Because ignorance is bliss. And I want to be happy.

Anyways, moving on.

Did soldering today and guess what. Ng Ting Hsiang helped me. It's saddening just to think that he didn't hold my hand in helping me to solder. And the fact he can't even be my eye candy because he has a girlfriend.

He was so nice. I think I am smiling.

But my opinion on him will change really soon. I can bet.

And am so tired now. Maybe I'll go listen to 不屑 for a little while.

Ciaos!!

not an emo post

I want to blog about happy things too.

Do you think I like to feel so fucking negative and mope around the entire day? Hell NO, I'm telling you.

I know I do have happy things going on around me but do you know the feeling where the sad things stay in your head much longer and affect you so much more than the happy ones and it clouds your sanity so much to the fact that you feel like fucking this world upside down, inside out?

...

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Okay. Since people had been asking me where is my happy self, I shall show you my happy self.

So, let's see what happen these few days that are worthy enough for me to be happy.

I went to Cine the other day and guess who I saw at the counter? I initially didn't want to go down to Cine at all BUT it has been so long since I saw Jo so I walked there. Yes, I walked there from Far East. In heels. Oh Lord. How many more toes have I sacrificed for Jo?

And Jo, you better see this, kay?!!

So yeah, went there and saw Jo's EC. And he was so cute. So so cute.

*coughs*

Yeah, CUTE!! Muddafugging cute.

I thought of using 'motherfucking' cute but I really don't wanna fuck his mother. I really don't.

*chew lips*

Yeah.

So back to him.

Sheesh. He's Jo EC. Not mine. *note to self* But he's so cute. I mean, Jo and I finally find the same guy cute. Like THE.SAME.GUY.CUTE. Both our tastes in guys were so different. The guys we used to bio while working were so different.

Okay, so were asking if he remembers me and he said he did. And smiled his really cute smile. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm so happy. Pity he has a girlfriend already. Or so I heard.

So after a while, XX finished playing his game and asked me over. Guess what for. I told him I'm not going to take his pool tray to the counter for him and he took it himself. Then I went over. And while on the way towards him, he asked me to help him take his cue for him.

WTFFFFFFF!!!

And I really did that. Double WTFFFFFFFFF!!

Actually I thought we were on bad terms with each other. Usually when we see each other at the pool place or at koufu, both of us would look at each other, give each other our black/blank face and not say hi.

So naturally I thought we were on bad terms.

But I didn't know I could talk with him the other day. Happy-ing!!

And he was so funny. Seriously.

He laughs while moving his shoulders up and down. I mean, was that deliberate?

Though I've one thing I couldn't understand. He's younger than me by at least 1 to 3 years (I really can't guess his age. He looks too damn young) but he always claim and insist that he's older than me.

He always claims to be 1990 but my guess is that he's either 1992 or 93. I'm betting on '93 though.

Cause we were talking about beers and he said something about me drinking underage and I told him I'm above the drinking limit for 300 hundred years. And he was like saying if so, he's over by a thousand year. Then I called him a 千年老妖.

Okay. I know he's just kidding with me. I look so damn old. I feel like slashing my own wrists.

And I finished my mocha and was giving to Jo and telling her that I'm 請ing her and XX was so happy and said thanks. He held up the cup, gave the '-.-' face and 請 Jo. Then Jo said 娘 or something like this to 熊 and he said that to me. I gave him the 'huh' face and said 爹 to him. And he looked at me and was like 'OKAY' before giving the cup to Jo and asked her to throw it for us.

I really have no idea what was going on between the three of us then. I think we were mad.

And was also complaining to Jo that working in Kpool made me heavier by 4kg. Literally. And XX was saying that the next time I work there and there's someone who wants to open a table, I'll walk there with them, lay out the pool balls for them. And if they buy drinks, then open for them and feed it for them.

EXERCISE while working.

Bullshit boy! But it was fun talking with him and Jo. Had been so long since I felt so happy.

But he was wrong on one thing. I'm not 厭倦ing, I'm 畏懼ing. The boy we were talking about seems so 花 and why the hell do I keep knowing guys like this. FML.

Of course the day was ruined after wards. Not going to say what. But both April and Rui Qi knew that very well.

Especially Rui Qi. He was so fucking worried for me when I told him I was in a pub with friends of friends and I didn't really know them and really wanted to go home. He really did actually wanted to come and find me to bring me home. Didn't know he was such an awesome guy!! My phone completely died and couldn't reply him and I forgot to return his text after I got home.

And he suddenly smsed me telling me that I didn't reply him for so long and hope I'm alright. Then I replied him saying my phone died and he was like 嚇死人囖

感動 to the max, I'm telling you!!!

Anyways, moving on. I am so screwed for today's practical and the impact haven't hit me yet. I'm waiting for it and I think I'm going to be more whiny than ever when it comes. Fmyfriend'sL.

So with my lack in sleep, I was singing and wriggling during the test and flashing smiles to TSO, Andrew and Sam.

Then Andrew and Sam suddenly appeared and smiled at me, talked to each other and Sam suddenly said that the light was there to melt my makeup. I told them my makeup was the least of my worries. The spots I'm seeing behind my eyes are my main worry.

I think they laughed before offering me a seat. And I was telling the TSO about the spots. I think he laughed too. I was sad.

And after my test, the TSO came in and asked if I recorded anything. I told him no and did a wriggled/flapping action with my hand. And he was like what-the-hell-is-she-doing-is-she-high-on-drugs?

Then he was stashing me all the rubbish and saying thank you. I think I might stop thinking that the TSOs are all snobs now.

Went home and my day was ruined again.

Seriously!! What the fuck man, what the fuck!!

And Sam just sent a mail saying for a weekly meetup for PD and FYP. Shall reply his mail about 3am. Before I sleep. I shall... try and remember. And I forgot to return one of my books which is supposed to be returned by today. ARGHS!!!

Okay, time to do something else.

Oh, for emphasis, I hate 花的男生… 雖然花美男就當然另當別論啦。

And why do I say this? Cause I actually only thought the only 花美男 I would ever see is 亞翔 before he cut his hair shorter. But guess what? I saw another guy from my school that is so hot. Hotter than 亞翔 in my opinion, though I think I saw him for a good 100-200m away. And if you must know, my lenses are of a weaker degree than what my eyes are now. So, please don't quote me huh :DD

Okay, yes. Time to stop this entry.

It's not an emo entry right? Happy now people?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Sigh

It's 1026am and I don't wanna go out of my house yet.

Everything seems so heavy. At least there's no lesson today. Just a worksheet and a test.

Man, I'm so regretting now. Shouldn't have went into a relationship so fast. It's wrong on so many levels and I'm kind of understanding this now.

Left an offline message to You2 and hopes he'll reply me. But why am I getting my hopes up for? Those who clubs are those who clubs. They won't change. Ditto to You2?

Ah wells. I don't know why. I just want to talk to him. It's a feeling.

Pity I don't think he would want to listen to a mad girl rant.

I just want to talk to him and no one else. Because I don't know how to talk to anyone.

Okay, more of I don't wanna talk about it because I don't wanna face it... yet.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Fucker

Whatever I type just now, it's all gone. Dammit!!

Push me away

I'm tired.

I'm tired of all this.

What's the point of trying to make everything better now?

I'm pushing you away now because I fear for myself. I'm sorry for being selfish.

But if you can do it once, I'm sure you can do it again.

I'm pushing you away now because I don't want to be the one who got pushed away at the end.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Speechless

I can’t believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

And I’ll never love again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless

I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

How? How? How?
How? How? How?

And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?
If I promise to you boy
That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along

I’ll never love again
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose any girl but me
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh

40 things that's damn boring. But I've read it and now's your turn to be bored

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!

3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!

4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.

5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!

6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!

7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.

8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!

9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!

10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit – don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side… TRUE LOVE will find you!

11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.

12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.

13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.

14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.

16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!

17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.

18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.

19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!

20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies… those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!

21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives.

22. A fundamental understanding and respect of the male ego is a must for all women who want a vibrant and healthy love; DO NOT obtain this crucial information from dishonorable males or from angry bitter women.

23. If you choose to be with dishonorable males, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers, you have absolutely no right to complain when they torch your emotions, abuse you, leave you pregnant and alone, jeopardize your safety and otherwise harm or hurt you. Remember, you have freedom of choice and you chose to be with them!

24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!

25. OK; he wants or is demanding sex but you are not his wife. Write this down: There is no need to wonder, debate or contemplate: he DOES NOT honor or respect you!

26. Spoiled women are like spoiled milk, spoiled meat, spoiled fruit spoiled bread and spoiled brats. Get the picture? Don’t become a spoiled woman!

27. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.

28. You’ve asked these questions, “Why doesn’t he call me more often? Why doesn’t he pursue me more diligently and why doesn’t he show me that he loves me?” Answer; he’s not into you! If you don’t let him go and move on with your life, you will allow him to hinder or block your true love from finding you!

29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!

30. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid these cretins!

31. Promiscuous immoral women are not worthy of an honorable man. They never have been and they never will be.

32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.

33. You were not designed, built or destined for abuse, whether: emotionally, physically or financially. If he is an abuser, there is no need to deliberate… he IS NOT the one; leave him now!

34. Some women live their lives vicariously through the women on “Girlfriends, Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives.” Don’t become one of these women. If you do, you will make a literal mess of your life, emotions, physical body and well-being.

35. When a man truly loves you, he will honor and respect you. If he doesn’t… don’t deceive yourself and don’t allow him to defraud you; he DOES NOT love OR care about you!

36. Everyone has skeletons in their closet? Wrong! Not everyone has skeletons in their closet. Don’t start putting any in yours!

37. There is a vast difference between sex and love. Most men know the difference and you had better learn it fast! If you fail or refuse to do so, you are surely headed for relationship or marital crash and burn.

38. Don’t deceive yourself, once you have sex with a man who is not your husband… he may never admit it, but he has lost a degree of respect for you. Don’t believe it? Ask any honorable man or virtuous woman.

39. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now! Your heart, mind and soul will forever thank you.

40. Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit!

回來，好嗎？

我們當初快樂的時光倒地飛逝到哪去了？

Monday, May 10, 2010

tired and feeling like puking

My love/desire for K-ing and 石鍋飯 is over for at least a month.

咖喱辣椒

I think my Hokkien will only sounds 台 when I'm trying to (yes, read and understand what I'm meaning as an attempt because I can understand Hokkien and not 台語) speak it with them.

Cause he's the only one who says I sound 台 when I speak. April laughed and was correcting me when I said 吐血 the other day. LOL.

I really don't want to sound 台. He said that I'm sounded 台 the day before again.

Okay. Not that I mind being said I sound 台 once I know if it's something good or bad. But right now, I've no idea if it's 貶義 or not when I'm being commented on that.

And it doesn't help when he said that I really don't sound like a Singaporean and that I've been asked if I'm a TWese a lot of times.

I answered that I AM a Singaporean and had been said that I'm from a lot of other countries too.

Okay. Truth to be told, I can't control how I speak. I would naturally follow the accent of the people I'm with.

That's why I have a very thick Singaporean accent lately when I speak in English if you noticed. Shit. This is not good. Not good at all.

And this is scary. I put "I wanna eat 油條 with 豆漿" on my PM this afternoon and H just said he wanted to go to 24巷 and drink 豆漿.

He didn't even came online today. He said he's good at guessing. And he IS good. I swear!!

I thought he wanted to go with his friends but alas. Ah wells, I said that we shall talk about this tomorrow. Cause I got this feeling that I might sleep before my class ends. Going to be a long long day tomorrow.

I think I might need starbucks tomorrow.

But I really want to eat 豆漿 with 油條!!

Pity YY is not in SG. I can still remember the mad long walk to that 永和 place. He was like pushing away chairs for me. Much loves :P

Okay. I got nothing to blog now. So kthxbai

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Are you?

乖老公，好兒子

你真的可以嗎？

And tell me if this is hardcore.

Am going over out/to his place for every Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

I mean, am only doing this when both of us are free. Okay... like duh?

4 days per week. FOUR!!!

This is epic. Definitely easily the only one whom I've spend more time with than anyone else. Of course, minus those people whom I'm seeing in class everyday. No wait. I think I see H more than I see them.

Cause I only see the people in class for 4 x 3 + 6 = 18 hours.

And for just one Saturday, I am seeing H for 17 hours straight. Woah.

Oh. Did I mention? I'm super super touched that H actually stayed at home with me on Saturday. He had some birthday party or some MJ session and he didn't go. Super uber touched!!!

But stupid fucker still pissed me off on Friday. So... yeah.

LOL!!

i've done some of my resolutions kay

5 months into the 2010 and let's see how much I've come from the resolutions I've made at the start of the new year.

Link: http://jlynnie.tumblr.com/post/311397149/resolutions

As quoted:

And just like every other year again, i resolve that

* My resolution would never come true (because if I didn’t do what I resolve to do, then I’m actually fulfilling this resolution… but if i fulfill this resolution then i did not do what i resolved. So, my yearly paradox nonsensical resolution ^^)
* To actually study and not procrastinate until the morning before the test
* To actually stop procrastinating and NATOism
* Stop hating Christians/posers/people who are arrogant, idiotic, ugly, stupid, know-it-all, annoying etc. (I've stop hating them... on the outside. World peace. Good enough)
* Stop being plastic/double-faced (Definitely. I'm a painfully honest person now.)
* Be a tad more sociable (OH! I so am now. Look at the people I'm hanging out with now.)
* Stop trying to live by the saying of “an eye for an eye”
* Be happier
* Stop drawing thick eyeliners (I've stopped for quite some time when I found my new love. And by that I meant eyeshadow. But am tired to use shadow now so I still go with occasional thick liners)
* Save some money (Yep. Oh man, I so am now!!)
* Stop thinking that music is not the right route for me
* Speak more fluently
* Start wearing flats (I have boots now so I guess it's okay for me to say I'VE DONE THIS)
* Stop being spiteful about the world
* Get a real life in reality rather than over the internet
* Blog interesting stuff
* Stop trying to follow the styles of others
* Stop telling myself to stop trying to follow the styles of others and ACTUALLY do it
* Stop looking out for only hot guys in youtube videos/MVs/PVs/anime/bands/drama etc.
* Stop being angry with the world
* Stop being angry with parents so easily
* Start telling people i’m actually angry at them rather than smiling and rolling my eyes behind their back
* Stop thinking about returning the favor, good or bad.
* Stop thinking that the world revolves around me, myself and I. (Yeah. Cause it's something worse now. I'm thinking that the world revolves around someone else and it suck!!)
* Start taking care of myself (health/skin/eyes etc)
* Accept others for who they are and not hate them for who they are… in front of them.
* Stop judging others.
* Continue being mean and tease ~~Gary~~ H (because me likes and don’t wanna stop!!!) (I don't tease H at all. And by at all, I mean it. LOL.)
* Remember all the important dates
* Stop being so distrusting even if it’s difficult to
* Stop speaking ill of people (bitching) behind people’s back… unnecessarily.
* Stop constantly trying to compete with others, even if there is no competition going on
* Stop trying to undermine others
* Start exercising

足夠

可愛小扣扣的新創作歌詞：

抬起頭你的笑容在天空想起電話中總有你加油

不同的枕頭做著相同的夢只要閉上眼睛你就在我懷中

要好好保重要好好生活要記得常想念我

生病了要按時吃藥睡覺被子記得要蓋好

要寄信給我要寄照片給我讓我知道你過的好

你愛我就已經足夠

相信等我回來的時候

我們各自都成長許多

改變過的會是我們更成熟不會變的是初衷

相信等我回來的時候

我的手還是牽你的手

話別說太多放在心中只要你愛我就足夠

想聼的話能在他的無名和SV找到… 吧？

還想起那時剛和勤揮揮揮手說掰掰的時候

我可愛的小扣扣（説是我的有點自私，但就讓我自私吧…）剛看到他登進MSN，看到他暱稱上寫著他剛上傳的新歌，就去聼聼

聼著聼著，眼淚就默默地飆了出來

因爲那首歌有說到我的心聲

就傳了封過去給他

他也回復了

感覺就是很不同

就好像… 就好像有人當下在陪我一般

感動到爆，好不！！！

無樂不作 - 我要快樂

像你这样的天使该有翅膀和名字
该美丽中带着刺
该很认真的属于我一次
当天是空的地是干的
我要为你倒进狂热
让你疯狂让你渴
让全世界知道你是我的
天气疯了海水滚了
所以我要无乐不作
不要浪费每一刻快乐
当梦的天行者
世界末日就尽管来吧
我会继续无乐不作
不会浪费爱你的快乐
当梦的天行者
要快乐

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<窩心男人>

Okay. Not blogging another entry somewhere else. Will do an offline blog later on when I wake up or something.

Something which I've saw today on H's friend's blog.

<窩心男人>

讓女生感到窩心的事：

1．了解她心中的感受，不要表現出無聊或不耐煩

2．常說溫柔體貼的話

3．記得她的服裝、髮型，也要知道她今天做了什麼改變

4．到哪裡都能告訴她和誰在一起?何時回家?

5．吵架時會讓她，先說對不起

6．讓她有安全感

7‧不用讓她擔心你會出軌

8．偶爾浪漫的送她花或小禮物

Now it's time to guess the ones in bold are the ones that he had done or the ones he haven't.

Not a hard guess at all, huh?

And damn. I'm hungry. And I just ate.

blog

You hurt me so.

7:15am. I think I should go sleep.

Or should I go blog another entry somewhere else?

I've blogged a post in lynniiie and technically one here. So should I have another entry somewhere else? Should I? Or should I sleep.

Sigh.

I've so many things in my head that it's so hard for me to blog about it.

SIGH!!!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

sleepy time

I'm so tired and it's 4am. I should have been sleeping since half an hour ago. Was dozing off on the cab home again just now. I just have this thing about sleeping on cabs lately.

Didn't use the money H gave me to take the cab home. Am going to return him tomorrow, probably.

And went to deposit some money after school today. I thought I should only have about $400/$500 left in my account since the last time I've checked, but I went there and it shows $800+

Of course I was happy. And I kept on wondering where the hell did those money come from.

How I hope it is a periodic thing. Where some mysterious awesome person secretly transfers money into my account every month. But sadly, I have this conjunction that the extra money actually has something got to do with the insurance I back out from the CPF thing.

But who cares? Money in my account is money in my account.

I initially had a little over a K in the afternoon. But by night time, I only had $900 odd left.

God, I really need to have a tighter rein on my money. God god god!!!

I hate epoxy glue. Period. I mean, I always wanted to use epoxy glue but having geniuses that messes up the whole thing, I'm starting to hate it.

Especially when it got onto my jacket. I really loved that jacket. Chao bye bye. LOL!

Am really tired today. No kidding. I was so tired while I was trying to finish my RJ that I actually got a pen, too lazy to merely walk a few steps to get some proper paper, find some newspaper, wrote down the points I wanted to include in my RJ and dozed off sitting on the floor, resting my head on the sofa.

Yes, I slept that way for a good hour. Woke up regretting sleeping that way, finished RJ in a slipshod manner and went back to sleep.

Set my alarm at 6pm but couldn't wake up. Only managed to drag myself off the sofa after H's text. And I was still nua-ing for 10 mins after I received his text.

God knows why I'm so tired.

Oh yes!! I almost forgot to mention!! Was on the cab towards Cine today and guess who I saw?

Steven Lim. Oh yes, Steven Lim.

I was looking at him because I find him so farmiliar but yet couldn't recognize him at first glance. I can't believe myself for that though seeing that he's such a fucking easy person to recognize.

So yes, I was looking at him on the cab (he was waiting for the green man to start flashing and the cab I was on was the first at the red light). Both our eyes met and he smiled at me. I continued staring at him. He then put his hand on his hip and did the creepy smile again. I raised my eyebrow and continued staring. He then did a wink/blink thingy with pouty kissy lips. I SWEAR I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!

My first thought was to die and the second was to call April. She thought what happened to me from the my voice.

Nah, it was just the traumatizing experience. Fucking scarring, I assure you.

So yeah. After that was Cine. Got a thin cardi thingy again. I swear I need clothes and no cardis anymore. I have like 6 cardis already. Mad much. At least I can wear one different one everyday huh.

While getting the cardi, received a call from H. He was complaining that I don't tell him where I'm going.

I think I've made it very clear. I'm a very fair person. You tell me, I tell you. He left me alone at the 4th level without telling me where he's going for a good 20 minutes at least. So I think that me leaving that level to go somewhere else (with or without telling him) 也不為過.

So watched Iron Man 2 after that.

Just like how I've noticed the uncanny resemblance of Rode NT2A to the microphone that was in Ip Man 2, I've noticed how the sound effects for the crashing of a tyre to the ground would sound heavier and louder than the body of a car crashing into the ground.

Man, what has Damien and Andrew do to me? Studio Techniques and Sound Design much huh?

Okay, I'm a very sucky audio student if you must know. So sucky that I don't even want to be one anymore.

After the movie, went to H's house for like half an hour. Then out for his supper. Then was home for me. And you know the story.

Showered for an hour and am here typing an entry for the past 24 minutes. God, I need a life... and sleep.

Seriously, there are times where I want to drink and there are times I stop myself from drinking. H really needs to understand this. Cause I think he really do have to stop destroying his own health.

And speaking of drinking, that doesn't seem like the only problem with him. Smoking, not sleeping, partayyyyy-ing, not eating right is taking a toil on his body. And I'm not even kidding.

I thought I had a bad enough body. To think someone would have a even worse one than me and isn't having a thought of stopping destroying it.

I shall be blatantly honest and say that, Someone needs to grow up soon.

謝同學

我還是喜歡 Chord 以前的歌…

(潘)在我很小很小的時候我的手已經開始觸碰鋼琴的按鍵
我記的小時後要練的都是古典音樂從小朋友學鋼琴開始練練到小奏鳴曲花了我好幾年
其實根本不知道錢要交多少整本蕭邦才會學到會
爸媽爸媽一直一直說學鋼琴是在浪費家裡的錢
家裡還有一個弟弟要讀書大家還有三餐要顧
我只好任由時間拖延放棄學琴的理想想著可能有一天能彈成這樣 ~~~
(釦)遊走在夢想和現實之間妥協和堅持像張拉扯的臉
旋律藏著美泛著淚誰聽的見
彈奏再一遍又一遍屬於我的小世界
(九) 在黑夜之中鋼琴手不停的戰鬥戰鬥鋼琴手在殘酷現實社會的擂台遊走
意志壓抑著墮落之心的芽鋼琴手對著琴鍵發誓
彈奏五線譜上的第八個音第八個屬於我自己的夢
(釦)遊走在夢想和現實之間妥協和堅持像張拉扯的臉
旋律藏著美泛著淚誰聽的見
彈奏再一遍又一遍屬於我的小世界
(潘)時間與鍵盤對峙金錢是一種狹持理想只剩下意志堅持也面對現實
時間與鍵盤對峙金錢是一種狹持理想只剩下意志的鋼琴手

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Pissed

Tze pissed me off so bad today.

And Susanne pissed Gerald so bad today.

It was so cool. Susanne wanted to take away Gerald's phone and he was saying that he would really leave class if she did that. And Susanne was screaming at him and telling him to put it away then. He kept it in his pocket and told her she will keep it later and she was screaming it at him to ask him to put it away in his bag now. He got up, went to his bag and said 'bye' and left.

So cool!!

And Tze loves saying "Can you please... whatever whatever whatever".

Pisses me off so bad too.

But not as bad as how Susanne pissed Gerald. LOL!!

time

Everything has a price to pay and a lesson to learn.

I've learned that, in a relationship, time plays a huge factor. The amount of time you spend seeing each other plays a huge factor. Something which I've learned from the previous time.

And therefore, when H wants me to accompany him, I try my best to dig time out of no time. And it's not that I don't like doing that.

Spend crazy amount of time as much as possible lately.

Went down to his house directly after school on Friday. Party till dawn with him. Went back and slept for a little while. Went back to his house and hang around till night where we went to Iluma until a good 4am.

Slept in for Sunday. Seeing I'm seriously deprived of sleep for that two days. And Monday (today), went over to his place after school. Stayed at his place until 11 ish.

Going to rest tomorrow and do my crazy essay writing (and by that, I mean Tze's RJ) then go out with him again on Weds.

Got this feeling that I'll be meeting him again on Friday, as well as Saturday and my whole cycle would continue again.

FML. This is going to be damn shag but I'm not complaining... much yet :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

LOL

Faci：Be uniform lah
Max: So you mean, if you wear slippers for one week then wear for all 5 weeks?

Max: Seriously, who does marketing without slippers these days?

Funny

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sophia: Look at my group
Gerald: Look at mine. I'm stuck with them.

Sophia: Then you join their group lah.
Max: I also wish. But I'm stuck with these two.

Bay: Let's go, Sophia
Max: Y0u know I'm very disappointed. VERY DISAPPOINTED. YOU KNOW!! *points*

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Oh.God!

Easily, one of the most embarrassing things that I've heard this week:

要帶帽子！不然會感冒

And we weren't even doing anything!!