Me & You, Forever ♥

Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm not sure if i should post this

Alright, April just went offline and i've stop gaming with her for the morning. See, how nice i am. She's off to bed and i'm still here blogging. (It's close to 6 already, okay?)

Anyway, i simply love gaming with her. Thinking back, i DON'T game without her. From Fiesta to LF2 to some other random games which i forgot and to Maple. It was always her whom brought me through all these games.

Thinking even further back, meeting April is a miracle in itself. We never knew each other. And was never from the same school (but we will be after half a month) Our personalities, our horoscope, our stuff ain't suppose to match with each other but we just click. It's this unseen connection that we have that i can boldly tell everyone that NO ONE I HAVE EVER MET CAN REPLACE HER IN MY LIFE. And this sentence still stands when we weren't contacting each other some time back.

Boyfriend said something that's correct. But something April said that was more true. I had been through with April so much and no one other than us can ever see and feel.

It's not about someone who is willing to be with me when i'm happy and nice to be with. It's also not about someone who is willing to be with me when i'm not happy. It's about someone who is being unhappy him/herself, but yet willing to be with me and try to make me happy.

It's not someone who knows me a year but yet only takes in a relationship. It's not someone who knows me a year but only gives in a relationship. But it's someone who knows me for a month and already knows when to take and when to give in a relationship.

It's not someone who trusts me with all her heart. It's not someone who is being skeptical about the people i say. But it's someone who knows how i feel and therefore understand my actions.

*coughs* I can seriously continue all these for 10 whole pages. Because April and i are not just friends, but people who can connect through their souls. She was the one that opened my closed heart.

She opened the doors of my heart. She melted the cold gaze i once had. She guided me to see, to hear, to speak. And most importantly, to feel.

Whenever i felt alone, she was always there. Whenever i felt weak, she will always be there to hold me. I trusted her so much. To the extent that i am very much dependent on her.

Both of us would rather sacrifice ourselves just for the sake of each other. Both of us would rather to get ourselves hurt than each other.

Misunderstandings occur. No doubt. Earlier on, we started to lose contact. Due to boyfriend. Due to friends. She thought that i didn't need her anymore and thought that leaving me alone will be fine. I was still being insensitive and didn't realize that. Until the day, her mum called me. It was a slap in my face. I remembered i cried that day, not because her mum had scolded me. It was because i thought that i'd hurt her.

Days after that. We still didn't have the courage to face each other. None of us could make the first step. She thought i hated her. I thought she hated me. None of us moved. Until the time when i posted my blog. She read it. She called me. And from that day on, our friendship started to grew back. Slowly but surely.

I have no doubt to say this. I love April (as a friend. Oh please, in which way do i look like a les or bi to you? *slaps*) And she holds a very special and unique place in my heart that no one can replace. Maybe one day, just maybe. When the time comes, and she's no longer around me (why do you think i mean that she's dead), the position she once held in my heart will still be there. Unoccupied. Forever. Because it belongs to her, and her alone.

PS: I DIED SEVEN TIMES IN MAPLE TODAY. AM I A NOOB OR WHAT? (Well yes, a newbie) Anyway, we chionged 17 levels in a day. *grins*