Sunday, October 25, 2009
She likes pretty artworks. Because they are so ugly.
As her eyes glistened, she bit her lips and looked away. And all she could do was to will the tears not to drop.



She closed her eyes and felt this clench in her heart.



Her eyelids trembled. A heavy sigh escaped from her quivering lips.



The grip within her chest tightened and her eyes showed nothing but plain unfathomable, unexplainable sadness.



But she smiled.



She is used to this. Her smiles are the brightest when she is at her most painful moments.



She never tells. No one ever would know what is going on within her. She never says until she can no longer bear it. Physically and emotionally.



She understands reality, albeit too well in actual fact. She accepts this cold, harsh world. She doesn't try to fight this society because she knows.



She gradually forgot how to feel. Because emotions never helped her.



She started not to care. Because concern would only hinder her.



She slowly detached herself from this world for this is the only way to protect herself.



She is afraid of pain. She has to know the fact that she is alone. She has to know the fact that no one would grieve for her when she dies. She has to know the fact that there is no pretty things in this world.



She came to an understanding. She accepted it calmly.



She hasn't been through life much. Because she doesn't allow herself to. How can she live her life when she had already detetched herself from it.



Living in a castle of her own, throwing away the key of the gates she built. Never dared to venture outside of this sanctuary she gave herself and no one ever dared to scale this huge wall to reach her.



She lived alone.



As the ache within her subsided, she closed her eyes and took in one last heavy breath. Holding it,she willed herself to not think about anything.



Eyes fluttered opened and all traces of moisture disappeared. Cold piercing gaze was in its place...


... As how it normally always was




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