Me & You, Forever ♥

Sunday, June 6, 2010

how long should you wait before getting into a new relationship

Was watching 大學生了沒 and in that episode, it talks about how long after a breakup can you go into a relationship.

And there was people who said on the day itself of the breakup and a girl said she only got a new guy two and a half years later. Though during the time she had people going after her and everything, she still felt like her heart wasn't healed yet.

Wow to girls like this. Wow, seriously!!

But the 醫師 in that episode also said this. It depends on each individual as well as if you're the one being 甩 or the one who 甩 the other party.

Okay. I went to my old archives and looked through everything. I got ditched on the 8th (because it was after 12am when we had that msn/call thing) and only went into a new un-serious relationship on the 27th.

Alright, I can't deny I'm attracted to H then. Sigh, I still feel weird saying this, the "I-am-attracted-to-him" thing, I suck.

Anyways, what I wanted to say is, I can't deny I'm attracted to H during that time, but to be honest, any guy would do then. Any guy who cares for me and could accompany me, I wouldn't care who he is. I would literally take anyone.

Just that I got lucky and I got someone who's rich and well, nice to me.

Fine. He wasn't that nice of a guy in my opinion. I mean, he's sweet to me and everything but I am looking for security in a relationship ever since my failed ones. And sometimes, his actions doesn't give me that. He said he'll change and I really hope he does. Because the things he does without telling me are also things that he had done. Stupid him thinks that I wouldn't know.

I'm getting a lot better these days. I have people telling me the things he'd been doing. The thing is, I don't even ask them. Wow to these people. Don't stop 'kay? Keep on telling me.

It's always good to gossip around at times, I've came to a realization.

Anyways, the breakup duration.

I remembered talking with Yiannis then (I don't talk to him anymore. To be honest, I don't talk to any more of Gary's friends anymore except for Angela. I don't know why, but I find it awkward to talk to the others. Not that I know a lot of his friends anyway, thank GOD!!) and he said if I went into a relationship then, it will be a slap in the face for both Gary and myself.

Yeah, it was on White V day when H asked me out for a movie or something. I didn't go and Yiannis was like, yeah, I shouldn't have went.

I didn't think I was ready yet either. I mean, I was talking to H everyday at that point of time and things were getting quite a little 曖昧 in between but we weren't technically together. I don't think I was ready too.

I was a lot better and I don't love him anymore then but I don't think I wanted to go into a relationship that soon.

Yes, I was sapping concern from everyone around me. I wanted to feel love but I was afraid of the pain that might come again.

I hung out with H a lot at that time because no one gave me concern like he did. We were friends theoretically then but he waits for me everyday and sends me home even though I live really far from him. He asks me out on my rest day and often texts me.

I guess I just need someone there and he was. Slowly, I had no idea when we started. I had no idea. But we just got together, I guess.

In all honesty, we don't need each other. Anyone could stand in either one of our positions and work just fine. I just wanted a real person to be there for me, to heal me and he just wants someone there. I guess he still wanted to play at that point of time.

But it slowly grew upon us. I never believed in marriages. It's a commitment to heavy for me.

He's still a little kid and believe in love and being together forever. He believed in marriages.

I didn't trust love but if he wanted to, I will. I mean, I got nothing to lose right. That was my thinking a little further after getting healed.

And right now? I don't want to think. I am afraid of what might happen. Of course, if it's a happy ending, all well would end well. But what if it doesn't? I am afraid and that's why I don't think. I don't think.

Sometimes, I think I got into a new relationship too fast too soon from the previous one.

But then again, I would think. I wasn't the one at fault so why should I feel guilty. The only guilt I'm feeling would be towards H. But he wasn't that serious at the start so we both, well, talked about that before.

Still! I am glad that both of us decides to be a tad more serious now. Yes, serious to the point where marriage is in the picture. But that would be kept secret. Way secret.

Shit. I regret starting on this topic too.

KTHXBAI!!