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Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Love... is a wish your heart makes
Yeah. My relationship with him is over. I really don't want it to end, I really don't and I want to be selfish, but I guess I'm just not able to.The only thing I can do now is to try and mend his heart as a friend, in my own little ways, while hoping this time, it wouldn't break it even more, and pass his heart to another girl. Another girl who knows how to appreciate him. It might sound dumb, it might sound completely unlike me, but I really don't know how to live now. I guess, this is what I've always been doing. Taking and taking from him and never giving back. I really want to be there for him, I always tried to. There were times where I just didn't want to sleep but there was times where I stayed up just to talk to him. I stayed up just to listen to him, not wanting to go off. When he's sad, when he's angry with his friends, I tried to be there for him. I thought that was it. But I forgot, there was still me in the picture. I forgot that he could get mad at me, get sad over me. I never realized he was sad because of the things I've done. Just like how he don't know, I don't know. I just want a chance to make this up for him. I want to take away the pain that I gave him and replace it with warm, soothing touches. But it's too late. He can't even love me anymore. No matter how much I can love him, I can change for him now, it's too late. How I wish, if there is a way, to take back the heart I ripped it out from myself and gave it to him and his back to himself, so he would feel so much better. I wanted so much to be selfish, I DON'T WANT TO BE MAGNANIMOUS AND LET HIM GO!! But... Nothing matters now. He has made his decision and nothing I can do to change it. I just hope that we can still be happy being friends. I still need him, no matter does he need me or not. But I have no rights to need him anymore. I have none anymore. I'm a nobody to him now. I can no longer enjoy the concern he used to give me... And he will no longer know how much I love him. How much I need him. How much I'm prepared to change for him. He might be glad to get rid of me, someone who does nothing but break his heart... But I know, I'm still always hoping for that small glimpse of hope that he would still be able to love me. Still be able to love me. |
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Joycelyn
That's me in the picture.And my boyf. Hate me or love me People I read
謝和弦ㄒㄧㄢˊ
Xiaxue
Holly J
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